Day 23: Today I am thankful for the changing off the seasons.
I am thankful to watch the changing of the seasons. Even if it means colder weather is coming I enjoy the fall with the colors of the leaves. With the cold we look forward to springtime which reminds me of life when everything greens up and blooms out.
Day 24: Today I am thankful for my brothers.
They both were on loan to us for far too short a time but I am thankful
for the time our family had them with us and the memories they left
with us.
I really don't know what else I can add to this one. I miss them both terribly but am thankful for the time we had.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Day 22: My Daddy
Day
22: Today I am thankful for Daddy. His birthday is today and as hard
as it is to believe he would have been 81 today. I don't think there
ever comes a time that missing him gets any easier.
My daddy has been dead for 13 years and I miss him now as much as when he first died. I think when we lose someone we love that it is something that we never really get over. We just learn to live with it, adjust and adapt. When someone we love dies they leave us great memories but I also think that each one takes a piece of us with them. I miss my daddy but I am thankful for the time that we had and the memories I have of him.
My daddy has been dead for 13 years and I miss him now as much as when he first died. I think when we lose someone we love that it is something that we never really get over. We just learn to live with it, adjust and adapt. When someone we love dies they leave us great memories but I also think that each one takes a piece of us with them. I miss my daddy but I am thankful for the time that we had and the memories I have of him.
Day 21: Yes, I Am Behind
Day 21: Today I am thankful for my business and all the clients that are truly friends.
I have a fairly stable business which is pretty amazing giving the climate of the industry. Many of my clients I do consider as friends. I find it very touching that as their insurance agent there are many of them when we finish an appointment they hug me and tell me they love me.
I have a fairly stable business which is pretty amazing giving the climate of the industry. Many of my clients I do consider as friends. I find it very touching that as their insurance agent there are many of them when we finish an appointment they hug me and tell me they love me.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Day 20: Family
Day 20: Today I am simply thankful for family. I personally think I have the best one that a person could be blessed with.
I have written on more than once how great my family is. We aren't perfect, but then no body is, but it is without question the most awesome thing to know you are always there for each other. As I mentioned to the minister who did Mama's funeral, we may not always agree, we may not necessarily like what the other is doing but there is NEVER a time that you doubt the support, help, and love will be there when you need them.
I have written on more than once how great my family is. We aren't perfect, but then no body is, but it is without question the most awesome thing to know you are always there for each other. As I mentioned to the minister who did Mama's funeral, we may not always agree, we may not necessarily like what the other is doing but there is NEVER a time that you doubt the support, help, and love will be there when you need them.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Modern Appliances
Day 13: Today I am thankful that to wash a load of clothes I can put them in a machine and turn a button on. I don't have to draw water to fill a washer and 2 rinse tubs up then run each piece through a wringer 3 times. After the machine stops I simply transfer them to another machine, turn another button and they come out dry and didn't have to fight the elements to get them hung on a clothes line (although that is a nice option to have). I am thankful that to cook I only have to adjust a few knobs not split wood, bring it in the house and keep a fire going in a wood stove in order to prepare a meal. Yes, I am thankful for modern appliances. Oh, and coffee.
For the majority of my teenage years this is exactly how we washed clothes and occasionally cooked. The brother next to me in age probably got in more arguments about who should draw the water to wash with than anything. I thought since I either had to help with or do the washing he should draw the water. He didn't always see it that way. I am thankful that these chores are easier now. I would not want to go back to living that way again, yet I am thankful I know how.
For the majority of my teenage years this is exactly how we washed clothes and occasionally cooked. The brother next to me in age probably got in more arguments about who should draw the water to wash with than anything. I thought since I either had to help with or do the washing he should draw the water. He didn't always see it that way. I am thankful that these chores are easier now. I would not want to go back to living that way again, yet I am thankful I know how.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
My favorite word
Day 11: Today I am thankful for my favorite word, through. We all go 'through' things and get 'through' things. The beauty of the word is that no matter what we are going 'through' we will eventually come out on the other side. If we are going 'through' something it means we are not stuck in it. There is light at the end of the tunnel that is not a freight train.
There is really not any more to add to this. Pretty much sums it up.
There is really not any more to add to this. Pretty much sums it up.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Day 11: Veteran's Day
Day 11: I like everyone else are thankful for all of our veterans today. I am also thankful for the families that watched them go into the armed forces, many having to wonder if they would ever see their loved one again.
I am truly thankful for those men and women who served and are serving in our armed forces to protect the liberty we enjoy in the United States. But, I always remember the families that were left behind not knowing when they would see their son, daughter, wife, husband, sister, brother, father, or mother again. For so many watching them leave would be the last time to ever touch, hug, or see them again. For all of those I am thankful.
I am truly thankful for those men and women who served and are serving in our armed forces to protect the liberty we enjoy in the United States. But, I always remember the families that were left behind not knowing when they would see their son, daughter, wife, husband, sister, brother, father, or mother again. For so many watching them leave would be the last time to ever touch, hug, or see them again. For all of those I am thankful.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Day 10: Mama and Daddy
Day 10: Today I am thankful for Mama and Daddy. I have often heard and said it myself that you don't appreciate your parents until you are an adult with children of your own. But I don't think you truly appreciate them until they are gone. Daddy has been gone for 13 years and Mama not quite 3 months. They both loved us and worked hard to provide for us. How I wish this morning that I could tell them how much they truly meant to me and how much I appreciated them. We all only have a short time here on earth so don't let too many of those opportunities go by without telling people what they mean to you.
Our parents were not saints as none of us are and the fact that both are dead does not mean that I am remembering them different from what reality was. But sadly I think that losing someone close to us helps us to prioritize. There are some things now that when I think about them are really very trivial. There is so much of life that we take for granted and don't appreciate until the opportunity is gone. Sometimes we just need to stop and re-evaluate what is most important to us.
Our parents were not saints as none of us are and the fact that both are dead does not mean that I am remembering them different from what reality was. But sadly I think that losing someone close to us helps us to prioritize. There are some things now that when I think about them are really very trivial. There is so much of life that we take for granted and don't appreciate until the opportunity is gone. Sometimes we just need to stop and re-evaluate what is most important to us.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Day 9: Music
Day 9: Today I am thankful for music. Old Rock and Roll, old and new country, bluegrass, Motown, beach music just to name a few. As shared in a conversation with a friend this week, it really does soothe the savage beast.
There is some type of music that is always right for what ever mood I am in. I enjoy music tremendously. My husband did not realize how important it was when we first met that one of the first questions he asked was what type music did I like. It would not have made nearly the impression if he had asked what was my favorite tv show.
There is some type of music that is always right for what ever mood I am in. I enjoy music tremendously. My husband did not realize how important it was when we first met that one of the first questions he asked was what type music did I like. It would not have made nearly the impression if he had asked what was my favorite tv show.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Coffee
Day 7: As I reflect every day on the things I am so blessed that I can only come to one conclusion. The scales are tipped very heavily in my favor. But, for today I am simply thankful for coffee.Day 7: As I reflect every day on the things I am so blessed that I can only come to one conclusion. The scales are tipped very heavily in my favor. But, for today I am simply thankful for coffee.
That first cup of nectar in the morning that helps to bring the body awake. Yes, being a life long coffee drinker, today I am thankful for coffee.
That first cup of nectar in the morning that helps to bring the body awake. Yes, being a life long coffee drinker, today I am thankful for coffee.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Happy Birthday
Day 6: Today Bobby would be 67 years old. Today I am thankful for the 21 & 1/2 years that God loaned him to me. He loved me unconditionally and there are many wonderful memories from our life together. There is still not a day goes by that I don't think of him and part of my heart will always belong to him.
Those 21 + years over all were very good. That is not to say we didn't have some difficult times but we worked through them together. He wasn't perfect but for that time in my life he was perfect for me. Today I can recall those memories and even with a touch of sadness I can smile.
Those 21 + years over all were very good. That is not to say we didn't have some difficult times but we worked through them together. He wasn't perfect but for that time in my life he was perfect for me. Today I can recall those memories and even with a touch of sadness I can smile.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Thankful for 2 more sisters
Day 5: Today I am thankful for 2 more 'sisters', Mercy and Grace. Without either I don't know where I would be today and God has provided both in much greater quantities than I deserve.
I have no way of knowing how much Mercy God has extended to me. I do know the greatest act of mercy was Jesus dying on the cross for me. There are, I am sure, multitudes of times that Mercy has been extended to me that I don't even know about. Grace is what gets me through most days. Grace comes in more forms that I can even begin to imagine. I am thankful for both of these 'sisters' today
I have no way of knowing how much Mercy God has extended to me. I do know the greatest act of mercy was Jesus dying on the cross for me. There are, I am sure, multitudes of times that Mercy has been extended to me that I don't even know about. Grace is what gets me through most days. Grace comes in more forms that I can even begin to imagine. I am thankful for both of these 'sisters' today
Monday, November 4, 2013
Nov. 4, 2013. Today I Am Thankful For
Day 4: Today I am thankful for memories.
Sometime during the last weekend that Bobby was alive Patricia and Mama were at our house. I remember setting on the porch watching the grandchildren play in the yard and watching Mama and the thought came to my mind that losing your memories would be one of the most awful things in the world. With Alzheimer's disease we don't know if the person still has those memories because the person loses the ability to communicate. I would like to think that they are still buried there somewhere and would bring that person comfort. My memories do bring me comfort. I remember after Bobby died there were times that a memory of him would come to mind and it brought tears but after a period of time I could recall those same memories and they would bring a smile and a sense of comfort. So today I am thankful for memories and oh, how very precious they are.
Sometime during the last weekend that Bobby was alive Patricia and Mama were at our house. I remember setting on the porch watching the grandchildren play in the yard and watching Mama and the thought came to my mind that losing your memories would be one of the most awful things in the world. With Alzheimer's disease we don't know if the person still has those memories because the person loses the ability to communicate. I would like to think that they are still buried there somewhere and would bring that person comfort. My memories do bring me comfort. I remember after Bobby died there were times that a memory of him would come to mind and it brought tears but after a period of time I could recall those same memories and they would bring a smile and a sense of comfort. So today I am thankful for memories and oh, how very precious they are.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Sisters
Day 3: Today I am thankful for my sisters. God has blessed us with a close relationship that through the years I have come to learn is not true in every family. There is never a moment we doubt each others love and support.
After Mama died I commented to my sisters that in the past year our immediate family had been reduced by half. One sister said it used to seem like so many of us but now there are just the 3 of us. We have other family and that is also a blessing but these two girls and I are all that are left of our immediate family. There are times we don't agree and even moments where we might not like each other or like what one of us is doing. But, be assured there is never a time that we are not supportive of each other. You always think that other families are the same as yours as far as the support and love you have for each other. Yet, over the years I have come to realize that is not true. We not only love each other but we like each other as well. We enjoy each others company and always have a listening ear for each other. Yes, these girls are a true blessing to me.
After Mama died I commented to my sisters that in the past year our immediate family had been reduced by half. One sister said it used to seem like so many of us but now there are just the 3 of us. We have other family and that is also a blessing but these two girls and I are all that are left of our immediate family. There are times we don't agree and even moments where we might not like each other or like what one of us is doing. But, be assured there is never a time that we are not supportive of each other. You always think that other families are the same as yours as far as the support and love you have for each other. Yet, over the years I have come to realize that is not true. We not only love each other but we like each other as well. We enjoy each others company and always have a listening ear for each other. Yes, these girls are a true blessing to me.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Peace
Day 2: Today I am thankful for peace of mind.
I am thankful for that peace of mind that comes from knowing that I have treated people fairly, that I have not created turmoil by being mean or unkind. I am thankful for that peace of mind that allows me to go to sleep at night and not be kept awake by something that I said or did to someone that caused problems.
I am thankful for that peace of mind that comes from knowing that I have treated people fairly, that I have not created turmoil by being mean or unkind. I am thankful for that peace of mind that allows me to go to sleep at night and not be kept awake by something that I said or did to someone that caused problems.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Blessed Assurance
Today begins 30 days of Thanksgiving. I am going to try my best to have an update everyday.
Day 1: Today I am thankful for the assurance of Heaven. With so many already gone it gives me great comfort to know that I will see them again.
With a son, father, husband, both brothers, and a mother already gone on, it does give me peace to know in my heart I believe all of them are in Heaven. My faith assures me that Heaven is a real place that believers go to when they die. I also have faith in my own relationship with Jesus that gives me the assurance that I will see them all again.
Day 1: Today I am thankful for the assurance of Heaven. With so many already gone it gives me great comfort to know that I will see them again.
With a son, father, husband, both brothers, and a mother already gone on, it does give me peace to know in my heart I believe all of them are in Heaven. My faith assures me that Heaven is a real place that believers go to when they die. I also have faith in my own relationship with Jesus that gives me the assurance that I will see them all again.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
No Rhyme or Reason
There is no rhyme or reason but I just feel bitchy! There is nothing wrong and I could probably blame this on menopause but sometimes for no apparent reason you just feel out of sorts. These are the times that I work really hard to hold my tongue so I don't hurt folks feelings! This is one of those times that I don't even want to be around me! Oh well, will continue to reign the witch in. God help us all if she gets loose! In retrospect after writing it down it is almost comical. Tootles!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
This Is The Day!!!!!
Yes, "this is the day, this is the day, this is the day that the Lord hath made, that the Lord hath made. I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it."
Yes, I will be glad and will rejoice for many reasons today but the numero uno is today makes 1 year!!!!!!!!!!! I am officially menopausal. This is where I jump for joy, do the happy dance, cartwheels, and whatever else I can do to celebrate. Thank you all for listening to all my grousing about the count and the associated bs that went along with it. Oh, be assured the hot flashes are still around, enough so that I finally started taking an herbal supplement to help with them. I told someone the other day that I know why dry skin is associated with menopause, it is from taking 4 showers a day from all the sweating you do.
At any rate had to share!!!!! Have a fantabulous day!
Yes, I will be glad and will rejoice for many reasons today but the numero uno is today makes 1 year!!!!!!!!!!! I am officially menopausal. This is where I jump for joy, do the happy dance, cartwheels, and whatever else I can do to celebrate. Thank you all for listening to all my grousing about the count and the associated bs that went along with it. Oh, be assured the hot flashes are still around, enough so that I finally started taking an herbal supplement to help with them. I told someone the other day that I know why dry skin is associated with menopause, it is from taking 4 showers a day from all the sweating you do.
At any rate had to share!!!!! Have a fantabulous day!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
And The Call Came
As I posted in my August 5th post, that everyday when I woke I wondered if that would be the day the call came about Mama. Well, the call came on August. 17th. I was home in SC when the nursing home called to say Mama wasn't doing well and we might want to come on. This was at 3:02 p.m. I called one sister and got her voicemail then called the other sister and told her about the call. While I was on the phone with the nursing home the sister that I had left the voicemail with called back. During all of this my husband was asking what he needed to do. Bless his heart all I could do was throw clothes at him for him to put in my bag. I asked him to stay until I could figure out what was going on. I did however pick out my funeral clothes and shoes for him to bring later. At 3:28 I was pulling out of the driveway heading north. I arrived at the nursing home at 6:30 and already knew Mama was unresponsive. I had been talking with the sisters on my way up the road. We stayed with Mama until 11 that night and went home to sleep knowing that the way she was could go on for maybe a couple of days. At 3:45 the nursing home called to tell me that Mama had expired. My first thought was 'no she didn't, potato chips, bread, and your license expire, Mama has died'.
We had already discussed Mama's arrangements a long ago. Remember we have been dealing with this journey of Alzheimer's for about 17 years and the reality is Mama has been in the advanced stages for at least 3 years. It has been at least that long since she knew who any of us were. The last clear conversation I had with her was her asking me who I was and then telling me, 'no you're not' when I told her who I was. That was in 2010. The last time I even remember her saying my name was in late 2005 or early 2006. We buried Mama's ashes on the 21st of Aug. which means that in just a little less than one year we have buried 2 brothers and a mother. I mentioned to my sisters that our immediate family had been reduced by half in a year. As Audrey said it used to seem like there were so many of us now there are just 3. It would be different (maybe) if we were older but I am the oldest and the only one left that is even in my 50's.
Now my sisters and I can move forward in the grieving process that we have been in for years. Our mother has been gone for a very long time but we have been kinda stuck in the grieving process because physically she was still with us.
Life is fragile and precious and I will continue to suck every breath I can out of it. Life is for the living and as we approach 'hell month' (that would be Sept.) I will, even as I remember those gone remind myself, life is for the living and I will honor those gone more by living life than I will mourning what isn't anymore. Does that mean I forget or don't think of them everyday? Hell no!!! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember Daddy, Bobby, Gerald, Edward, and now Mama. But as you have heard me say life is all abut choices. I can choose to be bitter or I can choose to be better. I choose to be better and be stronger for it all. I choose to live not just exist. What I know at this moment I am getting really tired of having to call the rest of the family to tell them someone has died. As I told the sisters when we admitted Mama to Hospice, 'we know what is coming but I am depending on you two to be around for awhile. Will be back later.
We had already discussed Mama's arrangements a long ago. Remember we have been dealing with this journey of Alzheimer's for about 17 years and the reality is Mama has been in the advanced stages for at least 3 years. It has been at least that long since she knew who any of us were. The last clear conversation I had with her was her asking me who I was and then telling me, 'no you're not' when I told her who I was. That was in 2010. The last time I even remember her saying my name was in late 2005 or early 2006. We buried Mama's ashes on the 21st of Aug. which means that in just a little less than one year we have buried 2 brothers and a mother. I mentioned to my sisters that our immediate family had been reduced by half in a year. As Audrey said it used to seem like there were so many of us now there are just 3. It would be different (maybe) if we were older but I am the oldest and the only one left that is even in my 50's.
Now my sisters and I can move forward in the grieving process that we have been in for years. Our mother has been gone for a very long time but we have been kinda stuck in the grieving process because physically she was still with us.
Life is fragile and precious and I will continue to suck every breath I can out of it. Life is for the living and as we approach 'hell month' (that would be Sept.) I will, even as I remember those gone remind myself, life is for the living and I will honor those gone more by living life than I will mourning what isn't anymore. Does that mean I forget or don't think of them everyday? Hell no!!! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember Daddy, Bobby, Gerald, Edward, and now Mama. But as you have heard me say life is all abut choices. I can choose to be bitter or I can choose to be better. I choose to be better and be stronger for it all. I choose to live not just exist. What I know at this moment I am getting really tired of having to call the rest of the family to tell them someone has died. As I told the sisters when we admitted Mama to Hospice, 'we know what is coming but I am depending on you two to be around for awhile. Will be back later.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Life is Just Too Short
Saw one of the little post card thingys on Facebook a few days ago that really caught my attention. It simply said, "In the blink of an eye everything can change. So forgive often and love with all of your heart. You may never know when you may not have that chance again." It is getting close to a year since the baby brother died and as has been discussed among the sisters, other family, and some friends we are all still dealing with this. Given the fact that both brothers died so young and with the situation like it is with Mama this is not real surprising. I try very hard to let the people who are important in my life know what they mean to me. Alas though I am human and I sometimes fail. For that I apologize. My heart is heavy right now because I cannot live up to what sometimes others want me to be. I realize the brevity of life and it is just too damn short for those rifts in relationships that should not be there to start with. I would say that I am sorry for being selfish and taking what I want from life but that would be a lie. So for now I will just remind us all that life is for living.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Not Gonna Change the Name
Yes, I am aware that I have been away for a long time so let me take a few minutes to catch up. If you have read previous posts then you have an idea of how I have felt in the past about Mother's Day. This Mother's Day was quite a bit different. As I have previously mentioned we have admitted our mother to a Hospice program. It was a little different this year because in all actuality this was probably my last Mother's Day with my mother. Even though it has been several years since she has known any of us, even though she had no idea that it was Mother's Day, even though she had no idea who was sitting with her it was still a bit, oh I don't even know what word I am looking for, it was just strange knowing that it was most likely the last time I would ever spend a Mother's Day with my mother. My visits with her are only about every two weeks now and I am ok with that. However, it is something that dwells in the back of my mind, 'is today going to be the day that I get the call?'. Mama is averaging a weight loss of about a pound a week and my sisters and I have discussed that we have been really surprised that none of her organs are showing any sign of shutting down. Again, back to the family motto, it just is what it is.
In my previous post I referred to the new man in my life. Well the new man is my new husband, hence the reason for the title of today's post. I am not going to change the name of my blog because widowhood was one of those mid-life crisis . This gentleman is very good to me. I told him a couple of weeks ago that I have been accused of many things in my life and many of them were true, but one thing that I have never been accused of is being spoiled and dang if he ain't trying to mess that up! Yes, I am aware that it was sudden but rest assured this was not a decision that I did not spend a great deal of thought about and spend even a greater amount of prayer on. Yet, even with the shortness of time I was completely sure that it was right. I said when Bobby died that if I remarried that God would put it together and not me and we both feel that is exactly what happened.
As I have mentioned before dating at this age was just so different. Let me also say that what you look for in a marriage is also very different at this age. I had several people tell me that they were glad that I was happy. I appreciate this very much but as I have told 2 or 3 folks, I have been happy even with all the crap that has come along in the last 4 to 5 years. Happy is something that is within you not something that depends on outward circumstances. But when Bobby was sick and we knew he was not going to get better when I would try to picture my future all I could see was a big black gaping hole. With Larry, my new husband I did not see that big black gaping hole anymore. It is beyond nice to be able to have someone to talk with, to share things with, to have that person who is interested in how your day was, who is willing to share all your concerns. From the very beginning we have been able to talk about anything and everything and while that is important at any age it seems to be more important as I am middle aged. It is a joy for me that I don't have to keep all the balls in the air by myself any more.
There are many life experiences that unless you have experienced them you really can't understand them. Losing a spouse is one of those experiences. I have managed quite well and have enjoyed learning about my own strengths and weaknesses. Yet at the same time most people would never know the loneliness that I have felt over the past 3+ years. Very few people know the nights that I slept in the recliner because I just could not stand the thought of sleeping in the bed alone. Most people who know me never knew the times that I skipped eating because it was just too damned depressing to sit and eat by yourself. Even as active as I have been and as close as my family is, it doesn't matter how many people you surround yourself with there is still that loneliness there that until you have experienced it you just can't understand. Bobby and I had a good marriage and were happy together. As I explained to Larry there will always be a part of my heart that belongs to Bobby but it is big enough to include someone else. Also, as I explained to him I will always love Bobby, but I have enough love for someone else. Many people never have even one time what Bobby and I had but to be blessed enough to experience that oneness of spirit again with someone else, I can only say that God has smiled on me twice. I will write more later on the wedding and other goings on because I am getting rather lengthy.
Also, one more update. I am 8 weeks away from being officially menopausal! Let me tell you right now if between now and Oct. 1 if I have a period I am not gonna be pleasant to be around for awhile! And I feel fairly certain that would be an understatement!
I will be back and I won't wait 3 months the next time. TTYL
In my previous post I referred to the new man in my life. Well the new man is my new husband, hence the reason for the title of today's post. I am not going to change the name of my blog because widowhood was one of those mid-life crisis . This gentleman is very good to me. I told him a couple of weeks ago that I have been accused of many things in my life and many of them were true, but one thing that I have never been accused of is being spoiled and dang if he ain't trying to mess that up! Yes, I am aware that it was sudden but rest assured this was not a decision that I did not spend a great deal of thought about and spend even a greater amount of prayer on. Yet, even with the shortness of time I was completely sure that it was right. I said when Bobby died that if I remarried that God would put it together and not me and we both feel that is exactly what happened.
As I have mentioned before dating at this age was just so different. Let me also say that what you look for in a marriage is also very different at this age. I had several people tell me that they were glad that I was happy. I appreciate this very much but as I have told 2 or 3 folks, I have been happy even with all the crap that has come along in the last 4 to 5 years. Happy is something that is within you not something that depends on outward circumstances. But when Bobby was sick and we knew he was not going to get better when I would try to picture my future all I could see was a big black gaping hole. With Larry, my new husband I did not see that big black gaping hole anymore. It is beyond nice to be able to have someone to talk with, to share things with, to have that person who is interested in how your day was, who is willing to share all your concerns. From the very beginning we have been able to talk about anything and everything and while that is important at any age it seems to be more important as I am middle aged. It is a joy for me that I don't have to keep all the balls in the air by myself any more.
There are many life experiences that unless you have experienced them you really can't understand them. Losing a spouse is one of those experiences. I have managed quite well and have enjoyed learning about my own strengths and weaknesses. Yet at the same time most people would never know the loneliness that I have felt over the past 3+ years. Very few people know the nights that I slept in the recliner because I just could not stand the thought of sleeping in the bed alone. Most people who know me never knew the times that I skipped eating because it was just too damned depressing to sit and eat by yourself. Even as active as I have been and as close as my family is, it doesn't matter how many people you surround yourself with there is still that loneliness there that until you have experienced it you just can't understand. Bobby and I had a good marriage and were happy together. As I explained to Larry there will always be a part of my heart that belongs to Bobby but it is big enough to include someone else. Also, as I explained to him I will always love Bobby, but I have enough love for someone else. Many people never have even one time what Bobby and I had but to be blessed enough to experience that oneness of spirit again with someone else, I can only say that God has smiled on me twice. I will write more later on the wedding and other goings on because I am getting rather lengthy.
Also, one more update. I am 8 weeks away from being officially menopausal! Let me tell you right now if between now and Oct. 1 if I have a period I am not gonna be pleasant to be around for awhile! And I feel fairly certain that would be an understatement!
I will be back and I won't wait 3 months the next time. TTYL
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Time To Catch Up
Yep, it is time to catch up and bring everybody up to speed. I am still on the count and it is at 6 1/2 months. Yea me!!!! Had a couple of moments when I thought, "oh, no!" but then they passed.
The potential new man is no longer in the picture and it should have been a hint when I never quit referring to him as the potential new man. While a very nice man that was very comfortable to be around, he was just, well, ok, how to say this? Let me just say that dinner at my house once a week that I cooked and dinner out every couple of weeks, that he paid for is just not what I am looking for. There is just way too much life left to live to try to be in the bed by 9:30 or 10:00 at night and not being able to go and do anything because you have to work the next day or you are too tired from working that day.
However, there is a new man! He is referred to as Motorcycle Man. Yeah, he drives a Harley. Got my first ride this past weekend and it was awesome! Then spent Sunday afternoon in the boat on the river. One of the first things he asked me was what kind of music did I like. Not what was my favorite tv program but what kind of music. Then he asked me to a concert, mentioned going for bike rides, and going for boat rides. All of ya'll sense the theme here? Hint: the operative word is go. In the one month since we met we have probably talked about any and everything for hours on end. So no he is not the potential new man, he is the new man. This man has been so thoughtful and considerate toward me from day one. From bringing me breakfast to asking if he could take a week of his vacation during my birthday week to do whatever I wanted to do because, 'somebody as special as you are, one day is not enough." Gush, gush and quit gagging Janelle.
On another note, Thing 1 and Thing 2 had their first baseball game last night and it was great. Screamed, yelled, and nearly pissed myself in all the excitement. But at the end of the game I had a slap in the face if you will that my baby brother is gone. I reached for my phone to send him a text about the game and actually had my phone in my hand and then it hit me, "damn, I can't call him". Which is what I would have done, call him to brag on my boys because he would have loved hearing about it. In talking with Janelle this morning we were also talking about how thrilled her daddy would have been to be there and see these boys playing the sport that was his first love. It was a bittersweet moment.
And on another note, I received a phone call from the nursing home where Mama is a resident this afternoon. It was the social worker talking with me that it was probably time to consider Hospice care for Mama and to think about those end of life decisions that sometimes have to be made. We are aware and realistic about her situation but damn it was still not easy hearing it. Called the sisters who are coming by in a few minutes to talk about it and then meet next Monday with the care team and Hospice. I am tired of dealing with death and dying! Yet, we shall get through this and I am reminded again of what an awesome family that I am blessed to be part of. Oh, and the new man when I shared with him what was going on asked 'what can I do for you?'. My answer was nothing and he still offered to call in at work and come to be with me if I wanted him to. I told him that I was ok but I would need a big hug when I see him tomorrow.
Getting ready to go watch boys play ball again tonight after meeting with the sisters then going to head south. Reminded of the Gary Allan song, life ain't always beautiful, but it is a beautiful ride. Will be back later.
The potential new man is no longer in the picture and it should have been a hint when I never quit referring to him as the potential new man. While a very nice man that was very comfortable to be around, he was just, well, ok, how to say this? Let me just say that dinner at my house once a week that I cooked and dinner out every couple of weeks, that he paid for is just not what I am looking for. There is just way too much life left to live to try to be in the bed by 9:30 or 10:00 at night and not being able to go and do anything because you have to work the next day or you are too tired from working that day.
However, there is a new man! He is referred to as Motorcycle Man. Yeah, he drives a Harley. Got my first ride this past weekend and it was awesome! Then spent Sunday afternoon in the boat on the river. One of the first things he asked me was what kind of music did I like. Not what was my favorite tv program but what kind of music. Then he asked me to a concert, mentioned going for bike rides, and going for boat rides. All of ya'll sense the theme here? Hint: the operative word is go. In the one month since we met we have probably talked about any and everything for hours on end. So no he is not the potential new man, he is the new man. This man has been so thoughtful and considerate toward me from day one. From bringing me breakfast to asking if he could take a week of his vacation during my birthday week to do whatever I wanted to do because, 'somebody as special as you are, one day is not enough." Gush, gush and quit gagging Janelle.
On another note, Thing 1 and Thing 2 had their first baseball game last night and it was great. Screamed, yelled, and nearly pissed myself in all the excitement. But at the end of the game I had a slap in the face if you will that my baby brother is gone. I reached for my phone to send him a text about the game and actually had my phone in my hand and then it hit me, "damn, I can't call him". Which is what I would have done, call him to brag on my boys because he would have loved hearing about it. In talking with Janelle this morning we were also talking about how thrilled her daddy would have been to be there and see these boys playing the sport that was his first love. It was a bittersweet moment.
And on another note, I received a phone call from the nursing home where Mama is a resident this afternoon. It was the social worker talking with me that it was probably time to consider Hospice care for Mama and to think about those end of life decisions that sometimes have to be made. We are aware and realistic about her situation but damn it was still not easy hearing it. Called the sisters who are coming by in a few minutes to talk about it and then meet next Monday with the care team and Hospice. I am tired of dealing with death and dying! Yet, we shall get through this and I am reminded again of what an awesome family that I am blessed to be part of. Oh, and the new man when I shared with him what was going on asked 'what can I do for you?'. My answer was nothing and he still offered to call in at work and come to be with me if I wanted him to. I told him that I was ok but I would need a big hug when I see him tomorrow.
Getting ready to go watch boys play ball again tonight after meeting with the sisters then going to head south. Reminded of the Gary Allan song, life ain't always beautiful, but it is a beautiful ride. Will be back later.
Monday, April 1, 2013
1/2 Way There!
Yesterday marked the 6 month point on this menopause journey. Can it be? Can it be? Will have to wait 6 more months to see. I have been negligent in posting but things are kinda busy. Will catch everything up in a few days. Will continue to say there is joy in the journey and life is good. The whole fan damily got together for Easter yesterday and a good time was had by all. In the words of the Terminator, "I'll be back". Have a great day folks!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Life is Good!!!
I am one of the most blessed people in the world! I have the most amazing family and friends! Just saying and had to share.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
The Torch Has Been Passed
I have been thinking a lot about my daughter's blog post about my nephew Lucas, you know the last one I stole from her. In meditating on this I have come to realize that however unintentionally the torch of man of the family has seemed to pass to this young man. Not that I think it is out of anyone's expectations but that he has stepped up and is in the process of assuming the roll. His uncles had probably a bigger influence on him than I imagine any of us realize. I also believe he was affected by their deaths more than even those of us who think we have a good idea, will ever know. I am seeing great maturity in this young man in the last few months. He is the one who, even though we kinda joke about it, will say "text me when you get there" when any of us are traveling. This is the child that about every week to ten days calls out of the blue just to say hello and I love you. I am not even sure he realizes that he has stepped up but I am seeing more and more signs of it. I am proud of him and think he may very well be on his way to becoming the man of the family.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
What I Have Been Waiting For!!!!
Good glorious Sat. morning to all of ya'll! As I sit here at 9:51 a.m. DST I am attired in my shorts, t-shirt, and flip flops! It is gonna be a great day! I have been waiting for it to be warm enough for this. I know the calendar says differently but with sunshine and mid 70's today I just cannot help myself. I will try to refrain from bitching about how hot it is later in the summer but today I plan to bask in as much sun as possible! I am telling you it is just good for the soul! Not even gonna let all this yellow pollen dust bother me cos they make an app for that. Listening to a very eclectic mix on my stereo, Tammy Wynette, Eric Church, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Luke Bryan, and Eric Clapton. Just waiting for another hour or so when I can fling the door open and let fresh air in. Yep, it is gonna be a good day no matter what comes along. All of ya'll enjoy your Sat., I plan to!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Borrowed One From Her Again
To follow is my daughter's blog post for today. I really didn't borrow, I stole it. I told all of ya'll I am so proud of her. I sent her a text that she did a good job with this and it brought tears to my eyes but in a happy way. In reading and re-reading she is right we are lucky. Hope all of ya'll enjoy this as much as I did.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
The next generation
diapers, and taking him to school when he was in
elementary school. I remember him being at my house a lot when I was growing
up. He would have worker boy days with my dad, these were days spent working in
the yard. One particular worker boy day, Lucas fell asleep in the bucket of the
tractor, I guess my dad worked him to hard :). You see my parents were like his
grandparents. Always going to school functions and helping with homework, or
just being there to lend an ear. It was just a close knit family situation. We
were blessed to have uncles that were the same way. If you needed to talk, you
called, they listened, gave honest answers, and that is just how it was. I
remember it being very common for Lucas to spend the night with Uncle Edward
when he was younger, and riding horses or just whatever. He went with Uncle
Gerald to sales and spent time just being, again that is just how the family
was.
Now Lucas is grown, well in the numbers form of grown, he turns 20 in June. He is a freshman in college and has really changed a lot in the last year. I guess we all have because of the craptastic year we had. It hit Lucas really hard though I think. He was home last week over spring break, and I realized, he spent a lot of it at my house. He hung out with us Saturday night, then again on Tuesday and even helped my kids clean their room. He then did something that shocked me. He asked if he could get the kids from school. So he did, and kept them that afternoon. Well I get a call on Thursday wanting to know what the kids were doing after school, and he was kind of bummed when I said they had plans.
It made me stop and think that maybe he is trying to be to my boys what he had growing up. The more I thought about it, my boys don't have that kind of relationship with any of their uncles. Don't get me wrong, all of their uncles love them very much, and enjoy spending time with my boys when they can, but they all work and have families of their own.
We were just lucky, that is really all it boils down to, we were lucky. We knew and still know that we have family that we mattered to and would make time for us. They talked with us, told us stories, gave advise, and general life lessons that stuck with us. They made memories with us that got us through the hard part of loosing them. We were lucky. I hope that my kids continue to want to spend time with Lucas and make the memories with him like he got to when he was a kid. The way it looks right now, I don't think that will be a problem.
Now Lucas is grown, well in the numbers form of grown, he turns 20 in June. He is a freshman in college and has really changed a lot in the last year. I guess we all have because of the craptastic year we had. It hit Lucas really hard though I think. He was home last week over spring break, and I realized, he spent a lot of it at my house. He hung out with us Saturday night, then again on Tuesday and even helped my kids clean their room. He then did something that shocked me. He asked if he could get the kids from school. So he did, and kept them that afternoon. Well I get a call on Thursday wanting to know what the kids were doing after school, and he was kind of bummed when I said they had plans.
It made me stop and think that maybe he is trying to be to my boys what he had growing up. The more I thought about it, my boys don't have that kind of relationship with any of their uncles. Don't get me wrong, all of their uncles love them very much, and enjoy spending time with my boys when they can, but they all work and have families of their own.
We were just lucky, that is really all it boils down to, we were lucky. We knew and still know that we have family that we mattered to and would make time for us. They talked with us, told us stories, gave advise, and general life lessons that stuck with us. They made memories with us that got us through the hard part of loosing them. We were lucky. I hope that my kids continue to want to spend time with Lucas and make the memories with him like he got to when he was a kid. The way it looks right now, I don't think that will be a problem.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Keys
Dear children, I am going to share with you what for me, when I stop and remember, are the keys to a stress free life as possible. As I have mentioned before some folks would be just plain skeered, (which is Southern for scared) to know the things that ramble through this head. I have been thinking this morning that you know what, life is good. Kinda sorta goes back to my joy in the journey philosophy. Life is good even when some of the stuff that happens in life is not. I am going to share with you what to me are 3 keys for having a stress free life as possible.
1. Give it to God. It what? All of it. He is in charge anyway! Let God handle it but be willing to do what is required of you.
2. Forgive! Yes, forgive those who have hurt you, used you, and abused you. Will it change them? Probably not. Will it help you? Most definitely! Will you forget? Nope, but forgive anyway.
3. Decide what is important enough for you to care about. If we will all be honest with ourselves the things we hold onto, well, a lot of it just ain't important enough to spend that much energy caring about. And the sad thing is there are some people that the grudges, hard feelings, and hostilities we hold toward them ain't hurting them one bit. Adopt the attitude for it to matter I would have to care. Why let someone who could care less about you suck the life out of you. Quit giving them that much control over you! Decide who and what is important enough to care about.
Just a few pearls of wisdom from an old lady today. Just remember, life is good!
1. Give it to God. It what? All of it. He is in charge anyway! Let God handle it but be willing to do what is required of you.
2. Forgive! Yes, forgive those who have hurt you, used you, and abused you. Will it change them? Probably not. Will it help you? Most definitely! Will you forget? Nope, but forgive anyway.
3. Decide what is important enough for you to care about. If we will all be honest with ourselves the things we hold onto, well, a lot of it just ain't important enough to spend that much energy caring about. And the sad thing is there are some people that the grudges, hard feelings, and hostilities we hold toward them ain't hurting them one bit. Adopt the attitude for it to matter I would have to care. Why let someone who could care less about you suck the life out of you. Quit giving them that much control over you! Decide who and what is important enough to care about.
Just a few pearls of wisdom from an old lady today. Just remember, life is good!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Just Something About It
I am not real sure what it is but there is just something about the quiet of a Sunday morning. The time changed last night to Daylight Savings Time. I am not bemoaning the loss of that hour since my sleep is a little erratic anyway. I did get kinda excited that I slept until 6:00 a.m. this morning and then realized that it was the same as if I had woke up at 5 yesterday. Oh well.
Last night was a date night with the potential new man. We have sorta picked up a routine. Supper at my house on Thurs. night, date night on Fri. night if I am going back north on Sat. and if not going back till Sun. then date night is Sat. night. It is a rhythm that has a nice, easy, comfortable flow to it. Mentioned to my daughter that last night was date night and we were going to ride up to the beach and eat and just goof off. Her reply was, 'you suck'. Cos see they like the beach. Told her I never saw myself as a beach person but dang if I don't enjoy being this close.
After riding up to the beach and having dinner we came back to my house and watched a movie. I had mentioned to my daughter a long time ago that one of the things I missed about being married was the physical part of it and I wasn't referring to sex. It is the hand holding, the random hug, the arm around your shoulder, and the snuggling. Last night watching this movie we just snuggled and watched TV. It was nice just to be close to someone that you could sit with your head on their shoulder and just be close. Sorry Janelle if this is TMI but we both agreed that it was very soothing for us to just be. As I have mentioned before, if it is meant to be it will be and if not the earth will not stop turning, but I do enjoy his company. He is intelligent enough to talk with about lots of different things, he is not needy or clingy, and silence is very comfortable with him. We shall see but I have to say he holds the record. It has been 2 months since we started going out and that is at least 2 weeks longer than the other 2 that I have went out with. Ah, well, have a great day!
Last night was a date night with the potential new man. We have sorta picked up a routine. Supper at my house on Thurs. night, date night on Fri. night if I am going back north on Sat. and if not going back till Sun. then date night is Sat. night. It is a rhythm that has a nice, easy, comfortable flow to it. Mentioned to my daughter that last night was date night and we were going to ride up to the beach and eat and just goof off. Her reply was, 'you suck'. Cos see they like the beach. Told her I never saw myself as a beach person but dang if I don't enjoy being this close.
After riding up to the beach and having dinner we came back to my house and watched a movie. I had mentioned to my daughter a long time ago that one of the things I missed about being married was the physical part of it and I wasn't referring to sex. It is the hand holding, the random hug, the arm around your shoulder, and the snuggling. Last night watching this movie we just snuggled and watched TV. It was nice just to be close to someone that you could sit with your head on their shoulder and just be close. Sorry Janelle if this is TMI but we both agreed that it was very soothing for us to just be. As I have mentioned before, if it is meant to be it will be and if not the earth will not stop turning, but I do enjoy his company. He is intelligent enough to talk with about lots of different things, he is not needy or clingy, and silence is very comfortable with him. We shall see but I have to say he holds the record. It has been 2 months since we started going out and that is at least 2 weeks longer than the other 2 that I have went out with. Ah, well, have a great day!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Close But Not Smothery
I am not altogether sure that smothery is even a word. Guess I will find out when I spell check. I am referring to the relationship that I have with my daughter. She and I were talking about it yesterday as we have from time to time in the past. She and I are close but not in that 'up each other's coat tails' kind of close. We talk on the phone several times a week, text almost every day, and see each other about once a week. You often don't realize that not everybody has that type of relationship. What we have always thought of as normal, as she has talked with friends and I the same, we have come to the conclusion that maybe it is abnormal. However, we agree that it is an abnormal that we are both good with. I have mentioned to her in the past that I think I am missing a 'granny gene'. For you see as much as I love her boys, and I do love them dearly, I don't want them with me all the time. I see other grandparents that have their grandchildren with them ALL THE TIME! If it is wrong, it is just wrong, but I don't desire that. But, she and I both agree that we all know that no matter what if either of us need the other we are there. I prefer to think that the times we do have together are even more special because they are not with me all the time.
We both agree that we each have our own lives and we agree to support each other like that. My daughter's opinion is really the only one that has mattered to me enough that I might be willing to change my mind in some of the decisions that I have made. But, as I have said she has been very supportive of the things that I am doing, even the moving to another state. We have discussed my dating and maybe eventually marrying again. Her only requirement is that they be as good to me as her Daddy was. I can't see me settling for any less.
While I am at this let me say, as I have before, that I am incredibly proud of this woman. And as I have said before, I wish I could take all the credit but I know that I can't. I am proud of her as a daughter, woman, wife, and mother. I am also proud of her husband. He is a good man. I personally think I have one of the best son-in-laws that I could possibly have. I am proud of the way they are raising the boys and the life that they are building together. They have been a couple for over 10 years and are committed to their relationship. Yep, I am proud of them and would not trade this 'abnormal' relationship for any normal one around. How wonderfully blessed I am.
P.S. No smothery is not a real word but oh well.
We both agree that we each have our own lives and we agree to support each other like that. My daughter's opinion is really the only one that has mattered to me enough that I might be willing to change my mind in some of the decisions that I have made. But, as I have said she has been very supportive of the things that I am doing, even the moving to another state. We have discussed my dating and maybe eventually marrying again. Her only requirement is that they be as good to me as her Daddy was. I can't see me settling for any less.
While I am at this let me say, as I have before, that I am incredibly proud of this woman. And as I have said before, I wish I could take all the credit but I know that I can't. I am proud of her as a daughter, woman, wife, and mother. I am also proud of her husband. He is a good man. I personally think I have one of the best son-in-laws that I could possibly have. I am proud of the way they are raising the boys and the life that they are building together. They have been a couple for over 10 years and are committed to their relationship. Yep, I am proud of them and would not trade this 'abnormal' relationship for any normal one around. How wonderfully blessed I am.
P.S. No smothery is not a real word but oh well.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Oh WOW!!!!
Blog views this morning 5002!!! WOW! I think that is just the most awesome thing! I almost feel like an award winner saying thank you all of ya'll.
Just a quick update on things:
The count is now at 151 days. I commented to my sister that the last day of this month I will be at the 6 month point. How sad is that? I have mentioned that it really is the small things that bring us pleasure but after almost 42 years of having periods this is a BIG thing and it excites me. Is that strange to get excited over menopause? Oh well, it is what it is.
The potential new man still has potential. I shared with him a couple of my posts last night and told him that at the present he is referred to as the potential new man. I have mentioned that dating at this age is just so different but I think in many ways that is a good thing. He and I agree that we are grown folks and you might as well say what's on your mind. None of these coy 'let's try to figure out what each other is thinking' stuff. I like that. Then the thought occurred to me I have reached the age that what comes up comes out! That is in reference to what I think I say. But! (now all of ya'll should have seen that coming) I still do have the good sense to not say everything that comes to mind because sometimes it is not to anybody's benefit so I keep a muzzle on it. No comments on that please.
It has been a busy week and today and tomorrow will be as well. With that being said I need to stop and get to work. All of ya'll have a fantabulous day and thanks again.
Just a quick update on things:
The count is now at 151 days. I commented to my sister that the last day of this month I will be at the 6 month point. How sad is that? I have mentioned that it really is the small things that bring us pleasure but after almost 42 years of having periods this is a BIG thing and it excites me. Is that strange to get excited over menopause? Oh well, it is what it is.
The potential new man still has potential. I shared with him a couple of my posts last night and told him that at the present he is referred to as the potential new man. I have mentioned that dating at this age is just so different but I think in many ways that is a good thing. He and I agree that we are grown folks and you might as well say what's on your mind. None of these coy 'let's try to figure out what each other is thinking' stuff. I like that. Then the thought occurred to me I have reached the age that what comes up comes out! That is in reference to what I think I say. But! (now all of ya'll should have seen that coming) I still do have the good sense to not say everything that comes to mind because sometimes it is not to anybody's benefit so I keep a muzzle on it. No comments on that please.
It has been a busy week and today and tomorrow will be as well. With that being said I need to stop and get to work. All of ya'll have a fantabulous day and thanks again.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Personal Best
Dare I to hope?! I have not mentioned it because I am afraid of jinxing it but I am on the count again. Today makes 145 days with no period, previous best was 144. If you remember I went 144 days, had a period and 2 weeks later had another. So as of today I am 220 days away from being menopausal! I find it interesting that I will still have some of the signs that I used to go by that my period was getting ready to start, the fatigue, the acne, the heavy in the nether regions feeling among other things but just no period. I CAN LIVE WITH THAT! Still afraid to get my hopes up but we shall see. TTYL
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
My New Ink!
This is my new tattoo in memory of my brothers who were both farriers (horseshoers) and both died in 2012. It is on my shoulder so will not be seen by most people. I LOVE IT!!!!! The girl did an awesome job and it was a treat for my niece to go with me to get it done. Just had to share. This will probably be the last one for me. TTYL
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Yes, I Know That It Is Not November
Yes, I do realize that it is not November as in the 30 days of Thanksgiving. And I do appreciate no one calling me out that I did not do it this past year. I really was thankful for many things but all of ya'll know what last year was like. At any rate, I have been thinking for the past few days how wonderfully blessed I am! It is almost overwhelming at times that me, who is nothing special, is blessed at every turn that I make! I deserve nothing yet I am so blessed that at times it just brings me to tears and believe me they are tears of joy! Just going to list a few of the things that I am thankful for because I just can't keep it to myself.
1. I am thankful for my salvation and a God who loved me enough to provide a means for it through the death of His son.
2. I am thankful for my daughter who as I have watched her grow into a young woman, wife, and mother I often ask myself could I have possibly had any influence in how wonderful this woman is because I see someone who is so much better than I am. I am so proud of her and don't tell her nearly enough.
3. I am thankful for her husband, my son-in-law. He is hard working and is setting an example for his sons, my grandsons. He is teaching them to respect other people, to be self-sufficient, and to be responsible.
4. I am thankful for my grandsons who can bring a smile to my face at the simplest things. What an awesome feeling to know these boys love me with the total innocence of a child. They love me purely and unconditionally.
5. I am thankful for my family, even in those moments that I want to smack them. I am thankful for the closeness that we have.
6. I am thankful for friends, oh and I am so richly blessed with some of the most wonderful friends in the world. I personally think that nobody has better friends than I do. I am thankful for the closeness that I have with a few of them to know we can always be honest with each other but know that it is done in love. It is a great friend when you can start the conversation with 'I know this may piss you off but I am gonna tell you anyway'. LOL! I am thankful for Kim and Tom who I never have any doubt are there for me. I am thankful for Elaine and Dean who I have no doubt that at any time of the day or night or which state I am in, be it NC, SC, or Confusion will be there if I need them. I am thankful for the weekly 'fellowship' that Elaine and I have. And Lord have Mercy even when I want to kill him I am thankful for Dumbass. Even though he hung up on me tonight because I was laughing at him and couldn't quit. But he will call in the morning because as bad as he might want to he can't stay mad at me for too long because Lord knows I have give him plenty of reason to with my 'bluntness'. It is that kind of friendship. There are many more but these are the 'core' support group, and I love these people dearly.
7. I am thankful that I am secure enough and independent enough to realize that I don't have to have a man to survive. I am thankful that I don't feel like I need to find a husband for financial security. It is a liberating feeling to know that if and when I do get seriously involved with someone it won't be out of need but out of want.
And I am thankful for so much more but these have hit the high spots. Just had to put it into words. I am one of the richest people that I know, no not in money, but in ways that matter so much more!
1. I am thankful for my salvation and a God who loved me enough to provide a means for it through the death of His son.
2. I am thankful for my daughter who as I have watched her grow into a young woman, wife, and mother I often ask myself could I have possibly had any influence in how wonderful this woman is because I see someone who is so much better than I am. I am so proud of her and don't tell her nearly enough.
3. I am thankful for her husband, my son-in-law. He is hard working and is setting an example for his sons, my grandsons. He is teaching them to respect other people, to be self-sufficient, and to be responsible.
4. I am thankful for my grandsons who can bring a smile to my face at the simplest things. What an awesome feeling to know these boys love me with the total innocence of a child. They love me purely and unconditionally.
5. I am thankful for my family, even in those moments that I want to smack them. I am thankful for the closeness that we have.
6. I am thankful for friends, oh and I am so richly blessed with some of the most wonderful friends in the world. I personally think that nobody has better friends than I do. I am thankful for the closeness that I have with a few of them to know we can always be honest with each other but know that it is done in love. It is a great friend when you can start the conversation with 'I know this may piss you off but I am gonna tell you anyway'. LOL! I am thankful for Kim and Tom who I never have any doubt are there for me. I am thankful for Elaine and Dean who I have no doubt that at any time of the day or night or which state I am in, be it NC, SC, or Confusion will be there if I need them. I am thankful for the weekly 'fellowship' that Elaine and I have. And Lord have Mercy even when I want to kill him I am thankful for Dumbass. Even though he hung up on me tonight because I was laughing at him and couldn't quit. But he will call in the morning because as bad as he might want to he can't stay mad at me for too long because Lord knows I have give him plenty of reason to with my 'bluntness'. It is that kind of friendship. There are many more but these are the 'core' support group, and I love these people dearly.
7. I am thankful that I am secure enough and independent enough to realize that I don't have to have a man to survive. I am thankful that I don't feel like I need to find a husband for financial security. It is a liberating feeling to know that if and when I do get seriously involved with someone it won't be out of need but out of want.
And I am thankful for so much more but these have hit the high spots. Just had to put it into words. I am one of the richest people that I know, no not in money, but in ways that matter so much more!
A Pan of Biscuits
It really is the small things in life that give the greatest pleasure. I sent my daughter a text on my way up the road Sun. evening as I was on my way to the NC home from the SC home to ask if they wanted to eat supper with me on Mon. evening. Let me stop here with a little background. (Now, all of ya'll should have seen that coming.) I am incredibly proud of my daughter and her husband. My daughter and I are close but not in that clingy got to see each other every day kind of close. We usually see each other about once a week and many times that is for church on Sun. morning and maybe meet for supper once a week. I had not seen them in a week and it had been a couple of weeks since we had supper together. Monday was on of my son-in-law's long work days but she said her and the boys would come. On Monday morning I sent my baby sister a text inviting her.
So now everybody is coming for supper so what am I going to fix (that is Southern for prepare). I had put a bag of purple hull peas in the freezer this summer so I took them down to thaw. Now what to go with them. It was rainy and dreary all day so this calls for comfort food. Country style steak, mashed potatoes, the peas, and I will make some biscuits and use some of them to make my child a bread pudding which she dearly loves.
I made the first pan of biscuits and they were just coming out of the oven when my sister got here so she got one right out of the oven. She then asked if I made any baby biscuits which is something our mother used to do. (and trust me that is another story). She ate her first biscuit then asked could she have another. I then decided I am going to make another pan to be sure there are enough for the bread pudding and would make some baby biscuits for the grandsons.
Each and everyone of them had the most amazing look of pleasure when they bit into that first bite of biscuit. I honestly do believe I could have made biscuits and nothing else! I know it sounds simple but that just thrilled my heart. My sister also got the first baby biscuit when it came out of the oven. Who would have thunk that I could have made 4 different people's day with a pan of homemade biscuits! While we were eating supper we were discussing our Easter dinner. I had said that I would make a cake that I do that everyone likes and potato salad and whatever else I needed to. My oldest grandson without missing a beat or saying a word reaches over and starts tapping the bowl the biscuits were in while looking at me. After a good chuckle I said ok that I would bring biscuits too. Daughter and Sister said they would take care of the potato salad, 'you just bring plenty of biscuits.'
I know this was lengthy but you know I can't tell a short story. But I gave my family great pleasure last night with just 2 pans of homemade biscuits and that just really does my heart good. I received as much enjoyment out of watching them eat them as they did eating them. Ima thinking that last night was another of those 'makeing memories' nights. It really is the small things that touch people the largest!
So now everybody is coming for supper so what am I going to fix (that is Southern for prepare). I had put a bag of purple hull peas in the freezer this summer so I took them down to thaw. Now what to go with them. It was rainy and dreary all day so this calls for comfort food. Country style steak, mashed potatoes, the peas, and I will make some biscuits and use some of them to make my child a bread pudding which she dearly loves.
I made the first pan of biscuits and they were just coming out of the oven when my sister got here so she got one right out of the oven. She then asked if I made any baby biscuits which is something our mother used to do. (and trust me that is another story). She ate her first biscuit then asked could she have another. I then decided I am going to make another pan to be sure there are enough for the bread pudding and would make some baby biscuits for the grandsons.
Each and everyone of them had the most amazing look of pleasure when they bit into that first bite of biscuit. I honestly do believe I could have made biscuits and nothing else! I know it sounds simple but that just thrilled my heart. My sister also got the first baby biscuit when it came out of the oven. Who would have thunk that I could have made 4 different people's day with a pan of homemade biscuits! While we were eating supper we were discussing our Easter dinner. I had said that I would make a cake that I do that everyone likes and potato salad and whatever else I needed to. My oldest grandson without missing a beat or saying a word reaches over and starts tapping the bowl the biscuits were in while looking at me. After a good chuckle I said ok that I would bring biscuits too. Daughter and Sister said they would take care of the potato salad, 'you just bring plenty of biscuits.'
I know this was lengthy but you know I can't tell a short story. But I gave my family great pleasure last night with just 2 pans of homemade biscuits and that just really does my heart good. I received as much enjoyment out of watching them eat them as they did eating them. Ima thinking that last night was another of those 'makeing memories' nights. It really is the small things that touch people the largest!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
I Believe
A better title might have been Sunday Morning Ponderings. Today is Super Bowl Sunday. I like football but will confess I probably have not watched a full game all season. As I am sitting here this morning, well actually this train of thought started in the last couple of days, I was pondering on how this is going to be another first without baby brother. Three years ago he called me to tell me that he and the baby sister were going to have a Super Bowl party. My reply was, 'oh cool, what do I need to bring?'. He would be coming from VA and then on Monday we would be going to work the horse sale in SC. His answer was, 'oh, I forgot to tell you we are having at your house.' See that is kinda how we rolled. So for the past 2 years they had their Super Bowl party at my house. We did watch the game but it was also another excuse, if you will, for us to just be together. There will be no Super Bowl party at my house this year. Also, in my musings over the past few days I realized on Thurs. that had things worked out differently Fri. Feb. 2 would have been my parents' 55th wedding anniversary. It was also the 31st anniversary of my son's death. He died at 4 months of SIDs.
I have mentioned previously that there are a LOT of things that I don't understand. It is in those times that I have to rely simply on faith. See, I believe that God has a plan and God's plan is perfect. I don't have to understand it to believe it. I do not claim to believe in predestination, as in things will happen no matter what we do. We all go through (there is that word again) things that due to our own poor judgement God allows. In discussing 'when it is your time to go you will go' with my little jailbird (a young lady who works for me that I have for some reason become fond of in 'another mother' kind of way). I told her that while I did agree with that we should also not tempt God.
Which led me to reflecting on how I am convinced, convicted, and assured that God often puts us where we need to be at certain points in our life. I believe that the people we meet and become close to are some of His ways of helping them or us or both. I know without any hesitation that none of us are where we are without His guiding hand. How we act or react to life situations is often up to us but I believe that each of us are where we are not by accident but by design.
Again, there are many, many things that I don't understand but my faith leads me to believe that all that we are going through is part of God's plan to bring us where He wants us to be. I believe we can choose to be part of it or fight against the grain and miss the blessings that He has for us. Am I where I am in my life by accident? I tend to think not. Reminded of Psalm 36:10 this morning, 'O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart.'. And also, Psalm 46:10, 'be still and know that I am God'.
I have mentioned previously that there are a LOT of things that I don't understand. It is in those times that I have to rely simply on faith. See, I believe that God has a plan and God's plan is perfect. I don't have to understand it to believe it. I do not claim to believe in predestination, as in things will happen no matter what we do. We all go through (there is that word again) things that due to our own poor judgement God allows. In discussing 'when it is your time to go you will go' with my little jailbird (a young lady who works for me that I have for some reason become fond of in 'another mother' kind of way). I told her that while I did agree with that we should also not tempt God.
Which led me to reflecting on how I am convinced, convicted, and assured that God often puts us where we need to be at certain points in our life. I believe that the people we meet and become close to are some of His ways of helping them or us or both. I know without any hesitation that none of us are where we are without His guiding hand. How we act or react to life situations is often up to us but I believe that each of us are where we are not by accident but by design.
Again, there are many, many things that I don't understand but my faith leads me to believe that all that we are going through is part of God's plan to bring us where He wants us to be. I believe we can choose to be part of it or fight against the grain and miss the blessings that He has for us. Am I where I am in my life by accident? I tend to think not. Reminded of Psalm 36:10 this morning, 'O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart.'. And also, Psalm 46:10, 'be still and know that I am God'.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
End of an Era
I confess to very mixed feelings about this. My ball team is not going to have a ball team this year. I have been with these boys since 2006. I know they are getting older as I have mentioned before. And the truth is it is getting harder to field a team due to various health issues among them. And yes, I know with my dual citizenship it would be more difficult to keep up with the team than in years past. However, with all that, I am going to miss these boys. I am going to miss being on the ball field with them. I am going to miss their wives. They have been so good to me over the years but as in all the other things I find myself facing as I get older, life goes on. I will miss them. I will miss the camaraderie of the ball field and I will miss seeing dear friends. As they are not fielding a team this year unless I get recruited by another team this will be the first year since oh, 2002 that I have not been to Raleigh for Sr. games. I am going to miss this. Another way that time marches on.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Jr. Horse Trader
I picked my grandsons up at school yesterday and had a very enjoyable afternoon and evening with them. Brought them home and as is the rule at Aunt Connie/Granny's, you do your homework the first thing when you get home. We left my house at about 4:30 to go meet one of the sisters and then go see Mama. (Now go see Mama is the right term because there is no going to visit Mama) The plan was go see Mama then go eat supper. We were going to a pizza buffet place that has a little game room. I did not tell them where we were going and before we left I filled my pocket with quarters. As these boys get older it really is awesome to sit back and watch the different personalities develop. Thing 2 had went with me the last time that I went to see her and he told her before he left that the next time we came he would bring his brother with him. This child really is just a gentle soul. He is very comfortable in the nursing home environment. Thing 1 used to be but as he is getting older, not so much anymore. I can understand and appreciate this. We walk into Mama's room and Thing 2 walks up to her and hugs her then tells her, "Tristan is here, Mamaw, I told you I would bring him and I don't fib". A little bit later the lady across the hall who is 100 years old rolled over to the door and he goes to hug her just like he did the last time. Both boys visited with her and when she became upset, (another story) they both hugged and loved on her till she forgot what she was upset about. (As a side note this child is 6 years old and when we left he told her that the next time he came he would bring his Mama and Daddy.)
We left and went to the pizza place and after they ate I divided the quarters between them. It was about $5.00 each. Thing 1 wins a stuffed animal in the 'grabber' machine and brings it to show it to me. Let me stop here and share a couple more incidents with this child. He is a wheeler dealer. Always looking to put a deal together. He got in my truck one Sun. morning for church and was showing me a bracelet he had made of paracord. I asked him how much he was going to sell it for. He replied, $6.00 but you can have it for $3.00. WTH?! And no I did not buy it, told him to sell it to somebody else that he could get the 6 for. About a month ago he had some stickers in church that he put on a sheet of paper, priced them, and came up with he had $14.00 worth of stickers. After much haggling I paid him $3.00 for them. I even heard the words out of his mouth $5.00 and we will split the difference. At that point I told him his Uncle Gerald would be so proud. Now this kid has made $3.00 on something that he had absolutely NOTHING invested in because I gave him the sheet of paper to put them on. Let me correct that, he had about 5 minutes of time in it. Which brings me to last night. He shows me this stuffed animal and tells me, I kid you not, "Look what I got Granny, you can have it for a dollar." I told him that I had just give him about $5.00 to win the blooming thing with there was no way that I was going to invest another dollar in something that I already had 5 in. Followed by again, 'Your Uncle Gerald would be so proud.' Suggested to him that he give it to his Mama for Valentine's Day. He took it home and did just that. On the way home he tells me that he is going to work with me when he gets older, not in insurance, not in the store, but he is going to help me sell horse stuff. I think he might have a future. His Uncle Gerald would be so proud!
We left and went to the pizza place and after they ate I divided the quarters between them. It was about $5.00 each. Thing 1 wins a stuffed animal in the 'grabber' machine and brings it to show it to me. Let me stop here and share a couple more incidents with this child. He is a wheeler dealer. Always looking to put a deal together. He got in my truck one Sun. morning for church and was showing me a bracelet he had made of paracord. I asked him how much he was going to sell it for. He replied, $6.00 but you can have it for $3.00. WTH?! And no I did not buy it, told him to sell it to somebody else that he could get the 6 for. About a month ago he had some stickers in church that he put on a sheet of paper, priced them, and came up with he had $14.00 worth of stickers. After much haggling I paid him $3.00 for them. I even heard the words out of his mouth $5.00 and we will split the difference. At that point I told him his Uncle Gerald would be so proud. Now this kid has made $3.00 on something that he had absolutely NOTHING invested in because I gave him the sheet of paper to put them on. Let me correct that, he had about 5 minutes of time in it. Which brings me to last night. He shows me this stuffed animal and tells me, I kid you not, "Look what I got Granny, you can have it for a dollar." I told him that I had just give him about $5.00 to win the blooming thing with there was no way that I was going to invest another dollar in something that I already had 5 in. Followed by again, 'Your Uncle Gerald would be so proud.' Suggested to him that he give it to his Mama for Valentine's Day. He took it home and did just that. On the way home he tells me that he is going to work with me when he gets older, not in insurance, not in the store, but he is going to help me sell horse stuff. I think he might have a future. His Uncle Gerald would be so proud!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Ponderings
It is a for the most part a calm quiet Sat. morning which allows for the mind to ramble and wander. Yeah, I know that can be a very scary thing. I find that on quiet mornings like this it is almost like a rewind of the previous week and sometimes longer. It just a good time for remembering and reflecting. It is those moments of reflecting that I find myself thinking about a menagerie of things but not the decisions that have to made or the things that need to be done but aren't. I have been pondering on several things this morning, kind of a rewind if you will.
I called to mind a conversation this week with my sister-in-law. Just for clarification this was the lady, and she is in every sense of the word, that lived with my brother in OK. They did not have a government contract for their union but she will ever be my sister-in-law. I feel a kinship with this woman. She asked me if there were any more dates with the potential new man. I told yes indeedy there were. This lead to a conversation between the two of us about how different dating is at our ages. During this conversation I shared with her that this journey of widowhood that I have been on for 3 years, 4 months, and 18 days (but who is counting) has been a good time to get to know me again. It has been a time of rediscovery and the conclusion that I have come to is that I like me. I like that I am a work in process. I said for a long time after Bobby died that I never intended to remarry or even get seriously involved with anyone because I never wanted to put myself in a position to ever, ever hurt that way again. But, as previously mentioned time does help. I am at a point in my life now that it is hard to imagine spending the rest of my life alone. Am I husband hunting? Nope. However, I do have a conviction that when the time is right, things will work out as they are meant to. But yeah, the consensus between the sister-in law and myself is that we like me.
In reference to this journey of menopause, I still say that I am in some stage just not sure which one. Had a hot flash this week that even had sweat running down my socks. Not fun, not fun at all! And, keeping the fore-mentioned consensus in mind, I will confess that there are times with the hormones in flux that I feel like a grade A bitch. Most folks will never know how hard I work not to unleash that beast! Fortunately she doesn't come around that often. With that being said at those particular times I DON'T LIKE ME!
One more short note. All of ya'll know how much I enjoy a good laugh! If you don't you ain't read enough on here! Went to my friends Dean and Elaine's last night to just hang out for a bit. She and I got tickled and after that it seemed that almost everything was funny. I am talking about bent over double, take the glasses off to wipe the tears, take a deep breath and do it again laughing. Sometimes you just need it! As mentioned previously a good cry is necessary sometimes but I will always say there is as much healing in laughter as tears and a good laugh is good for the soul! Have a fantabulous day. I have a date later today that I am looking forward to! TTYL
I called to mind a conversation this week with my sister-in-law. Just for clarification this was the lady, and she is in every sense of the word, that lived with my brother in OK. They did not have a government contract for their union but she will ever be my sister-in-law. I feel a kinship with this woman. She asked me if there were any more dates with the potential new man. I told yes indeedy there were. This lead to a conversation between the two of us about how different dating is at our ages. During this conversation I shared with her that this journey of widowhood that I have been on for 3 years, 4 months, and 18 days (but who is counting) has been a good time to get to know me again. It has been a time of rediscovery and the conclusion that I have come to is that I like me. I like that I am a work in process. I said for a long time after Bobby died that I never intended to remarry or even get seriously involved with anyone because I never wanted to put myself in a position to ever, ever hurt that way again. But, as previously mentioned time does help. I am at a point in my life now that it is hard to imagine spending the rest of my life alone. Am I husband hunting? Nope. However, I do have a conviction that when the time is right, things will work out as they are meant to. But yeah, the consensus between the sister-in law and myself is that we like me.
In reference to this journey of menopause, I still say that I am in some stage just not sure which one. Had a hot flash this week that even had sweat running down my socks. Not fun, not fun at all! And, keeping the fore-mentioned consensus in mind, I will confess that there are times with the hormones in flux that I feel like a grade A bitch. Most folks will never know how hard I work not to unleash that beast! Fortunately she doesn't come around that often. With that being said at those particular times I DON'T LIKE ME!
One more short note. All of ya'll know how much I enjoy a good laugh! If you don't you ain't read enough on here! Went to my friends Dean and Elaine's last night to just hang out for a bit. She and I got tickled and after that it seemed that almost everything was funny. I am talking about bent over double, take the glasses off to wipe the tears, take a deep breath and do it again laughing. Sometimes you just need it! As mentioned previously a good cry is necessary sometimes but I will always say there is as much healing in laughter as tears and a good laugh is good for the soul! Have a fantabulous day. I have a date later today that I am looking forward to! TTYL
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Nobody Cares
As I may or may not have mentioned before I sometimes do the children's message at church. Sunday morning I was on Facebook and saw something that gave me an 'ah, ha' moment. I sent Janelle a text and asked who was doing the kid's church, her or the other girl that helps. It was her so I asked can I do it this morning which was fine with her. You see our niece who just turned 10 was down this weekend and was going to church with me on Sunday morning. This niece belongs to the brother who died in Sept. When she was down here at New Year's we had a long talk that I won't go into here but the synopsis of it was that nobody seemed to understand how hard the past year had been for her, that nobody seemed to care, and she just didn't understand. I tried in my own feeble way to assure her how loved she is, how even though it doesn't always seem like it that there are people who care and that no matter what God always cares and is there for us. To follow is the message I did for kid's church and I think you will see why I was compelled to do this on Sunday morning knowing this niece would be with me. Not to be boastful about it but we talked about it later in the day and she did seem to take some comfort in it. Ya'll have an awesome day and it is my prayer that this will help you also in those moments that you get discouraged.
Have you ever felt like nobody cares? You may be going through some things and it just seems like nobody is interested or has time for what you are dealing with. I can ask the adults the same thing and the fact of the matter is at some time we all feel that way. We each get caught up in our own lives sometimes that we forget to show compassion, sympathy, or empathy toward others. We forget that other people have problems too just like they forget that we do. I want to share some scripture with you that shows that no matter what people do or don’t do that God is always there, He always cares, and He loves us more than we can ever understand.
1. Every day God thinks of you. Psalm 68:19
“Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Se’lah.”
2. Every hour God looks after you. 2 Thessalonians 3:3
“But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil.”
3. Every minute God cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”
4. Because every second He loves you. Jeremiah 31:3
“The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved you thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”
And then I am reminded of one of my favorite verses that I call to mind when there are things that I just don’t understand. Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
So when we are facing things that just don’t make sense to us and feel like nobody cares. Just remember that God has a plan, God’s plan is perfect, and that there is never a time that He is not with us, doesn’t care about us, and doesn’t love us.
Prayer thanking God for his love, mercy, and grace.
Nobody Cares
Have you ever felt like nobody cares? You may be going through some things and it just seems like nobody is interested or has time for what you are dealing with. I can ask the adults the same thing and the fact of the matter is at some time we all feel that way. We each get caught up in our own lives sometimes that we forget to show compassion, sympathy, or empathy toward others. We forget that other people have problems too just like they forget that we do. I want to share some scripture with you that shows that no matter what people do or don’t do that God is always there, He always cares, and He loves us more than we can ever understand.
1. Every day God thinks of you. Psalm 68:19
“Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Se’lah.”
2. Every hour God looks after you. 2 Thessalonians 3:3
“But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil.”
3. Every minute God cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”
4. Because every second He loves you. Jeremiah 31:3
“The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved you thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”
And then I am reminded of one of my favorite verses that I call to mind when there are things that I just don’t understand. Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
So when we are facing things that just don’t make sense to us and feel like nobody cares. Just remember that God has a plan, God’s plan is perfect, and that there is never a time that He is not with us, doesn’t care about us, and doesn’t love us.
Prayer thanking God for his love, mercy, and grace.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Do the Math
Good morning all of ya'll! One year ago today I looked at my blog stats and had just had my 1000 view. Why, I even did a post about it. Looked this morning and the count is now 4650. Is that not just awesome!!! So if you do the math that averages 10 views a day for the past year. Thank all of ya'll! You have come back to read even during those times in the past year that I went weeks without writing. That pleases me that you are interested enough to come back and look again. As has been documented last year was difficult to say the least but, also as documented this year so far is showing potential to be better. Part of it is attitude I am sure. As you have heard me mention in the past, life is all about choices. I still choose to try to find the good in every situation, granted sometimes you have to look a little harder but trust me it is there. I mentioned to the potential new man the other day that I had counted my blessings and could only come to one conclusion. The scales are tipped very heavily in my favor. He commented that he was glad that I was feeling so good and wished that he did but he was just tired. My reply was that I didn't say I wasn't tired and my arthritis was hurting but I chose not to let it win! My niece is sleeping soundly this morning and we will start getting ready for church here shortly. Will stop and pick up the grandsons so they can spend a few more minutes with each other. Its gonna be a good day, I can feel it commin' on! (that is a line from a song). Thank all of ya'll again, looking forward to seeing the count next year!
Monday, January 14, 2013
As I Have Mentioned Before
I really do love and appreciate a sense of humor and to be perfectly honest I enjoy a good laugh at my own expense. Saturday afternoon I had several errands that required a short road trip and I asked my friend Elaine if she wanted to ride with me. She was able to and we took off about 2 in the afternoon. There was not one single place that we went to that we did not get at least one good laugh. To give you an indication we almost came to the conclusion that our first stop should have been for Depends! There are people that pay really good money to go to a comedy club that did not get to laugh the way we did! I finished the day off with a good laugh also! I was puttering around the house and looked at what I thought was the clock and it showed 9:29, I thought. Decided I was just going to go on to bed. Did my night time ritual, one last cigarette for the night, go to the bathroom, brush what little enamel is left on the teeth, put my pjs on and crawled in the bed. Now my cell phone stays on all the time (that is the number the nursing home has) so I leaned over to plug my phone in the charger and it lit up. The time was 8:37. Yeah what I thought was the time at 9:29 was actually the radio station 92.9. After a good laugh about it I said to heck with it, I am already here, picked my book up, read a few pages and went on to sleep. Reader's Digest nailed it when they said laughter is the best medicine. Have a fantabulous day!
Saturday, January 12, 2013
It Is All Good
The date went well for those of you who might be interested. I would best describe it as a pleasant evening spent getting to know each other. Dating is just so different at this age. I know that numerically I am soon going to be entering the "golden" years of my life but my mind just cannot wrap itself around that. There is just too much life left to live. I did set 2 goals yesterday. 1st is that for my 54th birthday (yeah that would be the next one) I am going para-sailing. The 2nd is that on my 55th I want to do a tandem skydive. I have mentioned before I want to live and experience life not just watch it go by.
On a humorous note, I have chuckled several times today about this. Dumbass and I were discussing outdoor toilets and I will not go into the full conversation but I mentioned that growing up we had a 2 seater. He asked was there a wall between and I answered no, just a two-seater. His response was, 'damn, no wonder all ya'll are so close'. As I said I have chuckled several times over that. Yep, that could explain it, but probably not.
All of ya'll have a great day. Got several errands to run. TTYL
On a humorous note, I have chuckled several times today about this. Dumbass and I were discussing outdoor toilets and I will not go into the full conversation but I mentioned that growing up we had a 2 seater. He asked was there a wall between and I answered no, just a two-seater. His response was, 'damn, no wonder all ya'll are so close'. As I said I have chuckled several times over that. Yep, that could explain it, but probably not.
All of ya'll have a great day. Got several errands to run. TTYL
Friday, January 11, 2013
I Can Not Decide
That I can't decide something, might to those of you who do know me, come as a surprise. Let me 'splain it to you. I have a date tonight. First date that I have had in, oh, a little over 6 months. Remember I told ya'll after New Year's Eve it had potential. Well we have talked and texted daily since New Year's Eve and are going out tonight. Told my friend Elaine this afternoon that this is just sad to be 53 years old and excited about a date. She did remind me that I ain't dead yet. What I can't decide if this nervousness I am feeling is sad or cute. I mean really! I still have 35 minutes before he gets here and I am showered, lotioned, make-uped (well to the extent that I get) and have all but brushed the enamel off of my teeth. I find this rather humorous! I am sure there will be an update to this. Wish me luck all of ya'll!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
I Strive For This
I sometimes have to remind myself of this. And then when I do stop to remember sometimes I am overwhelmed by the truth of it. Have a fantabulous day!
Friday, January 4, 2013
It Has Potential
The new year that is. We are 4 days into the new year and so far it has been very good! I did bring in the new year and with a bang I might add. I had planned to bring in the new year with my friends that I mentioned before. And I did but with a twist. I love this couple! About 3:30 on my way down the road we talked and she told me that they had been invited to a party and it was my call if we wanted to stay at their house with the porch party that we had planned or go to the party. I told her I was fine with going to the party that I liked to meet new people and it would be fine if she was sure the host did not mind. She assured me that it would be cool. As we were leaving her house I asked what was the possibility of meeting my next husband or just someone to keep company with at this shindig. Well the possibility was there. I had a ball!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to dance like I have not danced in years and it was great. A good bit of shagging, the twist, and yes a few slow dances. I did meet a gentleman that we will see but we have talked every day since and will probably go out next weekend when I am back down south. There is a concert at a night club in Charlotte that I had wanted to go to on the 8th but could not find anyone to go with me but last night my son-in-law knew someone who had tickets and is going to babysit so my daughter and I are going to this concert Tues. night. How cool is that? Then today when I get home I got some news that I have been waiting for 6 months to see if it would be good or bad and it was way better than good. So yes, the new year has started off great. I am posting this and then may very well just go to bed. I am excited about this year so far. We never know what each day holds but I was deliriously happy to give my family some good news today. Almost to the point of being giddy. I am sensible enough to know that every day or even every week can't be like this but it is a damn good start. TTYL
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