Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Time To Catch Up
Yep, it is time to catch up and bring everybody up to speed. I am still on the count and it is at 6 1/2 months. Yea me!!!! Had a couple of moments when I thought, "oh, no!" but then they passed.
The potential new man is no longer in the picture and it should have been a hint when I never quit referring to him as the potential new man. While a very nice man that was very comfortable to be around, he was just, well, ok, how to say this? Let me just say that dinner at my house once a week that I cooked and dinner out every couple of weeks, that he paid for is just not what I am looking for. There is just way too much life left to live to try to be in the bed by 9:30 or 10:00 at night and not being able to go and do anything because you have to work the next day or you are too tired from working that day.
However, there is a new man! He is referred to as Motorcycle Man. Yeah, he drives a Harley. Got my first ride this past weekend and it was awesome! Then spent Sunday afternoon in the boat on the river. One of the first things he asked me was what kind of music did I like. Not what was my favorite tv program but what kind of music. Then he asked me to a concert, mentioned going for bike rides, and going for boat rides. All of ya'll sense the theme here? Hint: the operative word is go. In the one month since we met we have probably talked about any and everything for hours on end. So no he is not the potential new man, he is the new man. This man has been so thoughtful and considerate toward me from day one. From bringing me breakfast to asking if he could take a week of his vacation during my birthday week to do whatever I wanted to do because, 'somebody as special as you are, one day is not enough." Gush, gush and quit gagging Janelle.
On another note, Thing 1 and Thing 2 had their first baseball game last night and it was great. Screamed, yelled, and nearly pissed myself in all the excitement. But at the end of the game I had a slap in the face if you will that my baby brother is gone. I reached for my phone to send him a text about the game and actually had my phone in my hand and then it hit me, "damn, I can't call him". Which is what I would have done, call him to brag on my boys because he would have loved hearing about it. In talking with Janelle this morning we were also talking about how thrilled her daddy would have been to be there and see these boys playing the sport that was his first love. It was a bittersweet moment.
And on another note, I received a phone call from the nursing home where Mama is a resident this afternoon. It was the social worker talking with me that it was probably time to consider Hospice care for Mama and to think about those end of life decisions that sometimes have to be made. We are aware and realistic about her situation but damn it was still not easy hearing it. Called the sisters who are coming by in a few minutes to talk about it and then meet next Monday with the care team and Hospice. I am tired of dealing with death and dying! Yet, we shall get through this and I am reminded again of what an awesome family that I am blessed to be part of. Oh, and the new man when I shared with him what was going on asked 'what can I do for you?'. My answer was nothing and he still offered to call in at work and come to be with me if I wanted him to. I told him that I was ok but I would need a big hug when I see him tomorrow.
Getting ready to go watch boys play ball again tonight after meeting with the sisters then going to head south. Reminded of the Gary Allan song, life ain't always beautiful, but it is a beautiful ride. Will be back later.
The potential new man is no longer in the picture and it should have been a hint when I never quit referring to him as the potential new man. While a very nice man that was very comfortable to be around, he was just, well, ok, how to say this? Let me just say that dinner at my house once a week that I cooked and dinner out every couple of weeks, that he paid for is just not what I am looking for. There is just way too much life left to live to try to be in the bed by 9:30 or 10:00 at night and not being able to go and do anything because you have to work the next day or you are too tired from working that day.
However, there is a new man! He is referred to as Motorcycle Man. Yeah, he drives a Harley. Got my first ride this past weekend and it was awesome! Then spent Sunday afternoon in the boat on the river. One of the first things he asked me was what kind of music did I like. Not what was my favorite tv program but what kind of music. Then he asked me to a concert, mentioned going for bike rides, and going for boat rides. All of ya'll sense the theme here? Hint: the operative word is go. In the one month since we met we have probably talked about any and everything for hours on end. So no he is not the potential new man, he is the new man. This man has been so thoughtful and considerate toward me from day one. From bringing me breakfast to asking if he could take a week of his vacation during my birthday week to do whatever I wanted to do because, 'somebody as special as you are, one day is not enough." Gush, gush and quit gagging Janelle.
On another note, Thing 1 and Thing 2 had their first baseball game last night and it was great. Screamed, yelled, and nearly pissed myself in all the excitement. But at the end of the game I had a slap in the face if you will that my baby brother is gone. I reached for my phone to send him a text about the game and actually had my phone in my hand and then it hit me, "damn, I can't call him". Which is what I would have done, call him to brag on my boys because he would have loved hearing about it. In talking with Janelle this morning we were also talking about how thrilled her daddy would have been to be there and see these boys playing the sport that was his first love. It was a bittersweet moment.
And on another note, I received a phone call from the nursing home where Mama is a resident this afternoon. It was the social worker talking with me that it was probably time to consider Hospice care for Mama and to think about those end of life decisions that sometimes have to be made. We are aware and realistic about her situation but damn it was still not easy hearing it. Called the sisters who are coming by in a few minutes to talk about it and then meet next Monday with the care team and Hospice. I am tired of dealing with death and dying! Yet, we shall get through this and I am reminded again of what an awesome family that I am blessed to be part of. Oh, and the new man when I shared with him what was going on asked 'what can I do for you?'. My answer was nothing and he still offered to call in at work and come to be with me if I wanted him to. I told him that I was ok but I would need a big hug when I see him tomorrow.
Getting ready to go watch boys play ball again tonight after meeting with the sisters then going to head south. Reminded of the Gary Allan song, life ain't always beautiful, but it is a beautiful ride. Will be back later.
Monday, April 1, 2013
1/2 Way There!
Yesterday marked the 6 month point on this menopause journey. Can it be? Can it be? Will have to wait 6 more months to see. I have been negligent in posting but things are kinda busy. Will catch everything up in a few days. Will continue to say there is joy in the journey and life is good. The whole fan damily got together for Easter yesterday and a good time was had by all. In the words of the Terminator, "I'll be back". Have a great day folks!
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