No, I am not learning a new language but before I get into all of that let me share a question that has always puzzled me. Now, I really am serious here. It is amazing the random thoughts that wander through a person's mind. Ah heck, they might wander through a hog's mind but we will never know. I think everyone would be in agreement that Sign Language is a recognized language. So, if a person knows Sign Language and speaks English are they bilingual? Or does the 2nd language have to be a spoken language to be considered bilingual? Things that make you go mmmmm.
I am not bilingual, however, I speak in idiom almost as much as I speak English. It is so much a part of my speech that I don't even realize it sometimes until someone will ask me what does that mean? And it is so much a part of my manner of speaking that I am hard pressed right now to think of examples. One that I often have to explain is "same difference". "Same difference" means pretty much the same as "six of one, half a dozen of another". You would be surprised at how often I have been asked, "well if it the same how can it be different?" Another popular one in our family is (and I think ya'll may have heard me say this in previous posts, maybe, maybe not) is that "you can't un-ring the bell" meaning you can't undo what has already been done. Goes right along with, "it is like putting an elevator in an outhouse", meaning just don't make no sense!
Or, "that is like that seagull that started to fly off." Meaning you started to do something but didn't do, you just started but didn't finish.
As I was pondering on this I could think of several times a conversation had been stopped for me to explain what I meant but could not really think of particular expressions. So as I think of them or am halted mid-sentence I will try to write them down to share at a later date. Have a great day/night!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Merry Christmas to Me
I am looking forward to the ride to Bennettsville on Sun. for the sale on Monday. I am going to enjoy listening to the Statler Bros. while I am riding in my new to me truck. Yes, truck. I have been saying for a couple of months that I needed a man with a truck, think I have even mentioned it here. A few weeks ago, I said since it wasn't looking real encouraging on the man front that I was just gonna buy my own damn truck. So that is exactly what I did today and yes I am feeling very pleased with myself. She is a sweet sporty looking Ford F-150, no little truck for this ole girl. I have toyed and thought about and prayed about this for a couple of weeks now. Had pretty much decided that this week I was going to do it. Sure 'nuff when I went to bed last night I knew that by tonight I was going to have a truck.
While they were finishing all the paperwork Dumbass called and asked what I was doing, so I told him that I was trading cars. I had not mentioned this to anyone except Janelle and I called her this morning and said, "I am going to get me a truck today." Anyway his reaction was "you are doing what?" I told him you heard me which led to what are you getting which led to "a truck." And bless that boy's heart he really is a smart man but for the next couple of minutes he really was a dumbass! He asked me had I called and talked to my horse trader brother about this. My reply was "no, why would I?" He then, (I thought he knew me better than this) asked me didn't I think I needed my brother's advice about what to buy. Yes, he surely did! I very calmly (ain't ya'll just proud!?) told him that I did not need brother or anyone else's advice that I knew exactly what I was doing. Which was followed by him saying, "I'm not gonna get any where with this am I?" And my reply was , "Nope." Now let me say that I know he was just being protective and I really did appreciate it and he knows that I trust this brother's opinions without question. But still, have you met me?! I have always been independent (bet ya'll hadn't figured that out yet). But necessity has required me to be even more independent. I guess. Oh, I imagine I could always check with everybody else before making these major decisions but really, why? The way I see it (and remember I only have one good eye) is that I am responsible for me. If I screw up then I will be the one to fix it. But I feel really good about this decision. Reminds me of the song, "There's Just Something About a Truck."
TTYL (for you non texters, Talk To You Later) I am going to bed it has been a long day. Wish it was gonna be warm enough on Sat. to wash my truck. hehehe
While they were finishing all the paperwork Dumbass called and asked what I was doing, so I told him that I was trading cars. I had not mentioned this to anyone except Janelle and I called her this morning and said, "I am going to get me a truck today." Anyway his reaction was "you are doing what?" I told him you heard me which led to what are you getting which led to "a truck." And bless that boy's heart he really is a smart man but for the next couple of minutes he really was a dumbass! He asked me had I called and talked to my horse trader brother about this. My reply was "no, why would I?" He then, (I thought he knew me better than this) asked me didn't I think I needed my brother's advice about what to buy. Yes, he surely did! I very calmly (ain't ya'll just proud!?) told him that I did not need brother or anyone else's advice that I knew exactly what I was doing. Which was followed by him saying, "I'm not gonna get any where with this am I?" And my reply was , "Nope." Now let me say that I know he was just being protective and I really did appreciate it and he knows that I trust this brother's opinions without question. But still, have you met me?! I have always been independent (bet ya'll hadn't figured that out yet). But necessity has required me to be even more independent. I guess. Oh, I imagine I could always check with everybody else before making these major decisions but really, why? The way I see it (and remember I only have one good eye) is that I am responsible for me. If I screw up then I will be the one to fix it. But I feel really good about this decision. Reminds me of the song, "There's Just Something About a Truck."
TTYL (for you non texters, Talk To You Later) I am going to bed it has been a long day. Wish it was gonna be warm enough on Sat. to wash my truck. hehehe
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Time For a Chuckle
However, if you had been there in person it would not be a chuckle, it was a deep from the pit of your stomach, tears streaming down your cheeks, belly laugh!
The winter after Bobby died some of my family started planning a family cruise. I have never been on a cruise and it was a great opportunity as a good percentage of the fan damily were attending. I waffled back and forth about did I want to go, did I not want to go. Keep in mind at this point I am still existing on sugar cookies and brownies. (my sisters say my grocery lists consists of 2 boxes of brownie mix and diet drinks, sometimes I fool them and buy 3) Anyway, I digress, (remember you don't get the Reader's Digest version here). I did finally at Christmas time decide not to go. To be honest I was still in such a funk that it was really hard for me to imagine having fun ever again especially by July.
As cruise time approached I began to help my youngest sister get ready for her cruise. One of the tasks was to get a base tan by going to the tanning bed. We bought one of those 20 visit packages and split it. Now I have never been to a tanning bed before. Let me pause here and say that I tan very easily and usually have 25 different tan lines because pretty much all I have to do is just go outside and I start tanning. Sister in question tans fairly easy but she did not want to spend the cruise burnt to the color of a beet. Also, one reason that I never went to a tanning bed is that I have said it reminded me too much of a coffin. I am just a tad claustrophobic.
So, now we have bought our 20 visit package and we arrange what time to meet at the tanning salon. The big question so far has been how much are we going to wear or take off. We get checked in and I tell the little boy working, "now, I have never done this before so you have to tell me what to do". I even asked what do most people wear (I told you it was country come to town) He tells me that most people either bring a bathing suit or just keep their underwear on and alot of people take all their clothes off. Oh, I have just made an executive decision! He tells us which bed we are going to be in and I tell him AGAIN!, "I have never done this before so you have to tell me what to do". Both times that I told him this his answer was "oh, you just lay down and press start". At this point we go to our respective rooms and I proceed to take every stitch of clothes that I have on off. Yep, not gonna be any tan lines here. I lay down and get comfortable or as comfortable as you can laying on a flat piece of glass. I find the start button and press start. The lamps come on and it gets cozy warm and I am thinking, "this is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be". Now since this was our first visit we only tanned for 5 minutes. So the little buzzer goes off and I get up, put my clothes on and I am feeling real proud of myself. I step outside and am waiting for my sister to come out which she did in just a couple of minutes. She asked me "how was it?". and I answered with, "not as bad as I thought". She then tells me she had to keep lifting the lid off of her boobs. I stopped right in my tracks and, kid you not, I was serious, I looked at her and said, "you were supposed to close the lid?" You can imagine her look of dismay when she asked me, "you didn't close the lid?" Nope sure didn't, he told me to lay down and press start, so I laid down and pressed start. We are walking out and she is dying laughing and muttering to herself, "I can't believe you didn't close the lid." Nope, he said lay down and press start. I follow instruction very well, I laid down and pressed start.
Now as Paul Harvey would say here is the rest of the story. After a couple of days of walking around scratching our asses (remember we took all our clothes off that visit, didn't make that mistake again either) we went back for visit #2. Same little boy working and I walk up and asked him if the beds have a broil setting. He looks at me kinda funny and Sister dearest says, "she didn't close the lid" He looked at me like I had two heads and one of them was spinning. He then asked, "you didn't close the lid"? I looked at him just as straight as I knew how (cos I am still laughing about it) and told him it was his fault because "you told me all I had to do was lay down and press start, you did not say one John Brown thing about closing the lid." He then whipper snapper that he is tells me he thought EVERYBODY knew to close the lid. I had to remind him that I TOLD him I didn't know what I was doing so I did exactly like he told me to do. I did tell him, "child the next time somebody tells you they have never done this before what do I do to be sure and include that step about closing the lid."
We finished our 20 visit package over the next few weeks and each time he was working with laughter he would remind me to shut the lid.
All for a good cause, she had fun and did not get burned to a crisp on the cruise. And, I got to add a new experience to my lists of firsts. Have a great evening/day depending on where you are and what time it is when you read this. Appreciate you visiting with me.
The winter after Bobby died some of my family started planning a family cruise. I have never been on a cruise and it was a great opportunity as a good percentage of the fan damily were attending. I waffled back and forth about did I want to go, did I not want to go. Keep in mind at this point I am still existing on sugar cookies and brownies. (my sisters say my grocery lists consists of 2 boxes of brownie mix and diet drinks, sometimes I fool them and buy 3) Anyway, I digress, (remember you don't get the Reader's Digest version here). I did finally at Christmas time decide not to go. To be honest I was still in such a funk that it was really hard for me to imagine having fun ever again especially by July.
As cruise time approached I began to help my youngest sister get ready for her cruise. One of the tasks was to get a base tan by going to the tanning bed. We bought one of those 20 visit packages and split it. Now I have never been to a tanning bed before. Let me pause here and say that I tan very easily and usually have 25 different tan lines because pretty much all I have to do is just go outside and I start tanning. Sister in question tans fairly easy but she did not want to spend the cruise burnt to the color of a beet. Also, one reason that I never went to a tanning bed is that I have said it reminded me too much of a coffin. I am just a tad claustrophobic.
So, now we have bought our 20 visit package and we arrange what time to meet at the tanning salon. The big question so far has been how much are we going to wear or take off. We get checked in and I tell the little boy working, "now, I have never done this before so you have to tell me what to do". I even asked what do most people wear (I told you it was country come to town) He tells me that most people either bring a bathing suit or just keep their underwear on and alot of people take all their clothes off. Oh, I have just made an executive decision! He tells us which bed we are going to be in and I tell him AGAIN!, "I have never done this before so you have to tell me what to do". Both times that I told him this his answer was "oh, you just lay down and press start". At this point we go to our respective rooms and I proceed to take every stitch of clothes that I have on off. Yep, not gonna be any tan lines here. I lay down and get comfortable or as comfortable as you can laying on a flat piece of glass. I find the start button and press start. The lamps come on and it gets cozy warm and I am thinking, "this is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be". Now since this was our first visit we only tanned for 5 minutes. So the little buzzer goes off and I get up, put my clothes on and I am feeling real proud of myself. I step outside and am waiting for my sister to come out which she did in just a couple of minutes. She asked me "how was it?". and I answered with, "not as bad as I thought". She then tells me she had to keep lifting the lid off of her boobs. I stopped right in my tracks and, kid you not, I was serious, I looked at her and said, "you were supposed to close the lid?" You can imagine her look of dismay when she asked me, "you didn't close the lid?" Nope sure didn't, he told me to lay down and press start, so I laid down and pressed start. We are walking out and she is dying laughing and muttering to herself, "I can't believe you didn't close the lid." Nope, he said lay down and press start. I follow instruction very well, I laid down and pressed start.
Now as Paul Harvey would say here is the rest of the story. After a couple of days of walking around scratching our asses (remember we took all our clothes off that visit, didn't make that mistake again either) we went back for visit #2. Same little boy working and I walk up and asked him if the beds have a broil setting. He looks at me kinda funny and Sister dearest says, "she didn't close the lid" He looked at me like I had two heads and one of them was spinning. He then asked, "you didn't close the lid"? I looked at him just as straight as I knew how (cos I am still laughing about it) and told him it was his fault because "you told me all I had to do was lay down and press start, you did not say one John Brown thing about closing the lid." He then whipper snapper that he is tells me he thought EVERYBODY knew to close the lid. I had to remind him that I TOLD him I didn't know what I was doing so I did exactly like he told me to do. I did tell him, "child the next time somebody tells you they have never done this before what do I do to be sure and include that step about closing the lid."
We finished our 20 visit package over the next few weeks and each time he was working with laughter he would remind me to shut the lid.
All for a good cause, she had fun and did not get burned to a crisp on the cruise. And, I got to add a new experience to my lists of firsts. Have a great evening/day depending on where you are and what time it is when you read this. Appreciate you visiting with me.
Monday, December 26, 2011
More Quotes
Heard a couple of really good quotes today that I had to share. Author of both are unknown.
"Some people have more sense by accident than many do on purpose." I know some of each of those, how 'bout ya'll?
"If the mountain were smooth you wouldn't be able to climb it." Now that is wisdom!
"Some people have more sense by accident than many do on purpose." I know some of each of those, how 'bout ya'll?
"If the mountain were smooth you wouldn't be able to climb it." Now that is wisdom!
Never Had Any Doubt
As in never had any doubt about making it through (I just love that word) Christmas. My pastor's wife and I were talking after church yesterday morning and she asked was I ok. I assured her that I was, but I was glad Christmas was almost over. I shared with her, as I will share with you, I really do not like feeling this way about the holidays. The dreading it and just wanting it to be over. First of all, I am just too blessed to have that attitude, but I am human. I really am looking forward to the time that it will again be a time of the year that I enjoy and not merely endure. I do appreciate those people who tried to make it better for me and were genuinely concerned that I was ok. As I have mentioned before, this grief thing really is a marathon and not a sprint. Even though it is not a daily, in your face, thing anymore there are still times that it rears it's ugly head. With that being said, I love that word through, because it means eventually you come out of whatever it is that you are in. Oh, and I have to tell you Hannah, my pet rock, now has a companion. I now have a pet log that I received as a Christmas gift. Working on fixing her a little bed so she can rest beside Hannah. Am currently working on thinking of just the right name. My sister said I just had to name her Anna. (as in Hannah Anna) Will let you know when I have named her. Have a great day!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas
And so it was, , that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, on on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:6-14 KJV
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6 KJV
Merry Christmas everyone.
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6 KJV
Merry Christmas everyone.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
I Promised Another Chuckle
Let me begin with a disclaimer. This is only funny because it is so bizarre and ludicrous. And because I choose to laugh about it.
I mentioned in my story about when I thought I had buried Bobby in my pants that there were 2 humorous moments from that day. Here is the other one.
I am sitting there on Sunday afternoon minding my own business, still trying to get used to the quiet of the house, when my phone rings. As I mentioned before, this was the Sun. before he would have been dead 3 weeks the following Tues. I keep mentioning that because it is sort of relevant to how ridiculous the following is. I answer the phone and on the other end is a man(?) from here in town. He asked how I was doing and as I am a polite person I replied with "I am fine and how are you?" He proceeded to tell me the reason he was calling was to ask if I had thought about dating yet. Now let me explain about this person in question. He is a little slow as in "special" slow but even he ain't that damned retarded! At this point I can't even think about what I want for dinner. Seriously, it was such a struggle to just make a decision about what to eat that I pretty much lived off of iced sugar cookies and brownies for about 2 months! And he wants to know have I given any thought to dating again! I firmly (I thought) told him that no I had not and had no idea when I would, if ever. He then proceeds to plead his cause with I knew him and his family and knew how old he was but he didn't think age mattered to me. I told him again that I had no interest in dating at this point but thank you just the same. He finishes with when I did get ready would I please keep him in mind. I thanked him for calling and told him that I had to go.
Now let me interject here. At this point if he had looked like a Greek God, had a million dollars, and would sign a pre-nup that he couldn't touch me and I didn't have to touch him, and I got all of his money if something were to happen I would still not have been interested. But that is not the case here. Think of one of the munchkins from The Wizard of Oz with a very nasally tone of voice. And that STILL doesn't quite fit. Let me just say that even now that I would like to be dating they have not distilled enough liquor or minted enough money for me to call this man. Hell will be full of icebergs first! But the story sadly does not end there. The next day after I had gone to see Ethel and tell her both stories I was sitting in my office when Ethel came down to check on me. I got a phone call and while I was talking to my client a lady from the local florist comes in with a delivery for me. I just nodded and mouthed "thank you" at her and she left. As soon as I hung up the phone I looked at the card and you can guess who they were from. Yep, with a message on the card that read, "Call me when you are ready". Ain't picked that phone up yet! Now you might be wondering what I did with the flowers (and you may not be). I threw them in the trash because I did not want to have to explain to ANYBODY where they came from. The word mortified pretty well fits here. I did not acknowledge them in any fashion what so ever! A couple of weeks later my office phone rings and it is him again asking what time I got off work. I told him and he then proceeds to tell me that he is coming to pick me up when I finish work and we are going to dinner. Like I said before he is a little slow but at that point I unloaded with both barrels! I told him that, "hell no, he was not picking me up, that not only was I not going to dinner with him that evening, but as far as I was concerned I would never be going to dinner or anywhere else with him and the best thing he could do was not call me anymore." By this time I had told my two youngest siblings about this and a few days later my brother (the horse trader) asked had he called anymore. I told him about that conversation and he did ask if he needed to go see him and have a "little chat". I told him that I thought I had handled it and would let him know if he needed to. Haven't heard another word from him and he will hardly look at me when I see him around town.
You know it is no wonder I couldn't find my pants after that. Feel free to laugh because I certainly have many times!
I mentioned in my story about when I thought I had buried Bobby in my pants that there were 2 humorous moments from that day. Here is the other one.
I am sitting there on Sunday afternoon minding my own business, still trying to get used to the quiet of the house, when my phone rings. As I mentioned before, this was the Sun. before he would have been dead 3 weeks the following Tues. I keep mentioning that because it is sort of relevant to how ridiculous the following is. I answer the phone and on the other end is a man(?) from here in town. He asked how I was doing and as I am a polite person I replied with "I am fine and how are you?" He proceeded to tell me the reason he was calling was to ask if I had thought about dating yet. Now let me explain about this person in question. He is a little slow as in "special" slow but even he ain't that damned retarded! At this point I can't even think about what I want for dinner. Seriously, it was such a struggle to just make a decision about what to eat that I pretty much lived off of iced sugar cookies and brownies for about 2 months! And he wants to know have I given any thought to dating again! I firmly (I thought) told him that no I had not and had no idea when I would, if ever. He then proceeds to plead his cause with I knew him and his family and knew how old he was but he didn't think age mattered to me. I told him again that I had no interest in dating at this point but thank you just the same. He finishes with when I did get ready would I please keep him in mind. I thanked him for calling and told him that I had to go.
Now let me interject here. At this point if he had looked like a Greek God, had a million dollars, and would sign a pre-nup that he couldn't touch me and I didn't have to touch him, and I got all of his money if something were to happen I would still not have been interested. But that is not the case here. Think of one of the munchkins from The Wizard of Oz with a very nasally tone of voice. And that STILL doesn't quite fit. Let me just say that even now that I would like to be dating they have not distilled enough liquor or minted enough money for me to call this man. Hell will be full of icebergs first! But the story sadly does not end there. The next day after I had gone to see Ethel and tell her both stories I was sitting in my office when Ethel came down to check on me. I got a phone call and while I was talking to my client a lady from the local florist comes in with a delivery for me. I just nodded and mouthed "thank you" at her and she left. As soon as I hung up the phone I looked at the card and you can guess who they were from. Yep, with a message on the card that read, "Call me when you are ready". Ain't picked that phone up yet! Now you might be wondering what I did with the flowers (and you may not be). I threw them in the trash because I did not want to have to explain to ANYBODY where they came from. The word mortified pretty well fits here. I did not acknowledge them in any fashion what so ever! A couple of weeks later my office phone rings and it is him again asking what time I got off work. I told him and he then proceeds to tell me that he is coming to pick me up when I finish work and we are going to dinner. Like I said before he is a little slow but at that point I unloaded with both barrels! I told him that, "hell no, he was not picking me up, that not only was I not going to dinner with him that evening, but as far as I was concerned I would never be going to dinner or anywhere else with him and the best thing he could do was not call me anymore." By this time I had told my two youngest siblings about this and a few days later my brother (the horse trader) asked had he called anymore. I told him about that conversation and he did ask if he needed to go see him and have a "little chat". I told him that I thought I had handled it and would let him know if he needed to. Haven't heard another word from him and he will hardly look at me when I see him around town.
You know it is no wonder I couldn't find my pants after that. Feel free to laugh because I certainly have many times!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Well, Just S&#t Fire and Save the Matches
I find absolutely no humor in this situation at all!!!! Apparently my body has decided it is back on a semi-regular cycle again. 24 days and here we go again! Might explain why when Dumbass called yesterday and I with my new phone, which I hate, tried to answer it cut him off (this has happened like 10 or 12 times) and then I called him right back and then when he answered did I say hello. Oh no, he said hey and I immediately replied, "have I told you how much I hate this damn phone?" Thank goodness he has a sense of humor and laughed before asking me what happened to answering the phone with "hello, how are you?" And it also might help explain why when talking to him tonight he asked a simple question and I lit into him something terrible. Bless that boy's heart, he laughed and when he quit laughing at me he asked "do you think you could have said that a little different instead of unloading with both barrels?" And bitchy as I was being I had to tell him that damn it, it was his choice." And again, bless that boy's heart he really does know how to diffuse a situation. You will be glad to know (and maybe not), that I did apologize and start over in a nicer tone of voice. I abhor those women who use hormonal fluctuations as an excuse for being a bitch, but it always helps to have that safe haven. That person who knows that most of the time we don't really mean it and love us anyway. Kinda like the Martina McBride song, "I'm Gonna Love You Through It." A different it from the song but the it I need loving through at the time. Will try to share another chuckle with the next post. Right now just spreading hate and discontent which for those of you who do not know me I assure you is not my nature. Damn hormones!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Ya'll Need a Chuckle?
Well of course you do, there is a reason that Reader's Digest had a section called "Laughter is the Best Medicine". Actually there is medical documentation on how healthy laughter is for you. As I have stated before I try to find humor in as much as possible so I am going to share 1 or 2 stories with you. I have alluded to these in previous posts and these are at my expense. As I have said before if I can laugh at myself then everybody else is welcome to join in. Here goes and I hope you laugh till you have tears running down your legs.
When I thought I buried Bobby in my pants. He had been dead a little over two weeks when this happened so you can imagine I wasn't seeing much humor in anything but on this particular day I had two things happen that can still get a laugh even today. This was on Sun. afternoon before he would have been dead 3 weeks on Tues. I decided to go to a friend's church for the evening service. It would be the first time being back at a church since his funeral. Now at this point having to get gussied up was just a struggle (ah, who am I kidding, it has never been easy). Anyway, before he died he and I had actually talked about what he would be buried in. Black pants and a brown tweedy sport coat. So that evening I went to get my black dress pants to iron them to wear to church. Now at this point let me say that his clothes were in one closet and mine were in another. I went to my closet and could not find my pants. I checked in the laundry room to be sure they had not been left in there. Nope, not there. Back to my closet, checked every hanger, and they are not there. So I went to his closet to be sure they had not been mixed up. My black pants were not there but HIS WAS! I just sat on the bed shell shocked and thinking, "no, I couldn't have, could I? No, there is no way, is there?" Went tearing through both closets again still only one pair of black pants to be found. His not mine. I called Janelle and said, "you are not going to believe what I think I have done!" Naturally her reply was what? I told her, "I think I buried your daddy in my britches!" After explaining it to her we began to laugh and laugh and laugh some more. She told her husband who's answer was that they would have the following put on Bobby's tombstone, "I finally got in my wife's pants" The next morning I went to see Ethel to tell her what I thought I had done and yep, it was a laugh till I had to cross my legs and run to the bathroom laugh. Now it was no inconceivable that this would have happened because when he died he weighed less than I did and my pants would have fit him! For two flippin weeks I went around thinking that I had buried my husband in my pants. One day I was looking in the closet for something else (for a while I had trouble finding anything). Hanging under a jacket were my black pants and it all came back to me. When I got his coat out to send to the funeral home there was a button missing and I didn't have enough sense to find another and sew it on so instead of his black pants and brown tweedy coat, I picked out his grey pants and navy blazer for him to be buried in. OMG what a relief! And boy, oh, boy what fun I have had telling that one! I will spread this humor out and share in day or two the other hilarious thing that happened the same day and then I will share my first experience in a tanning bed with you. (talk about country come to town!) Have a great day/night whatever it might be.
When I thought I buried Bobby in my pants. He had been dead a little over two weeks when this happened so you can imagine I wasn't seeing much humor in anything but on this particular day I had two things happen that can still get a laugh even today. This was on Sun. afternoon before he would have been dead 3 weeks on Tues. I decided to go to a friend's church for the evening service. It would be the first time being back at a church since his funeral. Now at this point having to get gussied up was just a struggle (ah, who am I kidding, it has never been easy). Anyway, before he died he and I had actually talked about what he would be buried in. Black pants and a brown tweedy sport coat. So that evening I went to get my black dress pants to iron them to wear to church. Now at this point let me say that his clothes were in one closet and mine were in another. I went to my closet and could not find my pants. I checked in the laundry room to be sure they had not been left in there. Nope, not there. Back to my closet, checked every hanger, and they are not there. So I went to his closet to be sure they had not been mixed up. My black pants were not there but HIS WAS! I just sat on the bed shell shocked and thinking, "no, I couldn't have, could I? No, there is no way, is there?" Went tearing through both closets again still only one pair of black pants to be found. His not mine. I called Janelle and said, "you are not going to believe what I think I have done!" Naturally her reply was what? I told her, "I think I buried your daddy in my britches!" After explaining it to her we began to laugh and laugh and laugh some more. She told her husband who's answer was that they would have the following put on Bobby's tombstone, "I finally got in my wife's pants" The next morning I went to see Ethel to tell her what I thought I had done and yep, it was a laugh till I had to cross my legs and run to the bathroom laugh. Now it was no inconceivable that this would have happened because when he died he weighed less than I did and my pants would have fit him! For two flippin weeks I went around thinking that I had buried my husband in my pants. One day I was looking in the closet for something else (for a while I had trouble finding anything). Hanging under a jacket were my black pants and it all came back to me. When I got his coat out to send to the funeral home there was a button missing and I didn't have enough sense to find another and sew it on so instead of his black pants and brown tweedy coat, I picked out his grey pants and navy blazer for him to be buried in. OMG what a relief! And boy, oh, boy what fun I have had telling that one! I will spread this humor out and share in day or two the other hilarious thing that happened the same day and then I will share my first experience in a tanning bed with you. (talk about country come to town!) Have a great day/night whatever it might be.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Tore Up!
Not me, my house. There is trash in the floor, dishes in the sink, a missing shoe, and just (for me) a little chaos. And it is all good. My siblings and their families had Christmas this evening. All this disarray says to me that a good time was had by those here. I do not want to be remembered as the aunt, granny, or sister that got all bent out of shape about her house getting messed up. I want them to all remember that we were here together and enjoyed being with each other. No elaborate gifts or lots of money spent just plenty of food, fun, and togetherness. Most of this mess will still be here for a couple of days because it most likely will be Tues. night or Wed. morning before I get a chance to tidy up and you know what the earth will not stop turning. There will be many families that will not be able to say that they got together or that they enjoyed being together. I am thankful that is not the case for us. This was the first year that I have had Christmas at my house since Bobby died and I will admit to feeling sad much of the day. One of those days of feeling sad and glad at the same time. I guess this is a sign of healing. Hope everyone has a good week. Working about 3 hours at job 3 in the morning before leaving for a horse sale (job 2). Not sure if there will be any work on job 1 tomorrow, will just have to wait to see if there are any phone calls. Take care.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
How Did I Forget?
Well I know how I forgot. 1. It is one of those menopausal things. 2. It just happens and though disappointed you just deal with it and go on. What you may or may not ask did I forget? I have to start my count over! I went 144 days toward the one year mark and guess what showed up. Yep, you got it. One full fledged period just as if it had been as regular as clockwork. Oh well, the count started over. I could have just cried!!! I talk to women who say "oh one day mine just stopped, and I never had any hot flashes or anything". Makes you almost want to smack them. I said almost.
Taking a couple of minutes squeezed in between several busy days to just write for a moment. Horse sale today, family Christmas tomorrow, job 3 and horse sale on Mon. I am not complaining because it is making these days pass very quickly with little idle time for the mind to wander. As much as I have been griping about not looking forward to the holidays and wanting to skip Christmas I have developed a new attitude. You know how people will ask you if you are ready for Santa Claus? And I have shared my sentiment, "don't care anything about seeing that fat @@@." Well, the answer has changed. Someone asked me this week if I was ready for Santa to get here and I answered with "I sure am, cause he can't leave till he gets here." Maybe the attitude is not so different, just the answer. Looking forward to closing the books on this year and seeing what next year holds. Ya'll have a great weekend and I will be back soon.
Taking a couple of minutes squeezed in between several busy days to just write for a moment. Horse sale today, family Christmas tomorrow, job 3 and horse sale on Mon. I am not complaining because it is making these days pass very quickly with little idle time for the mind to wander. As much as I have been griping about not looking forward to the holidays and wanting to skip Christmas I have developed a new attitude. You know how people will ask you if you are ready for Santa Claus? And I have shared my sentiment, "don't care anything about seeing that fat @@@." Well, the answer has changed. Someone asked me this week if I was ready for Santa to get here and I answered with "I sure am, cause he can't leave till he gets here." Maybe the attitude is not so different, just the answer. Looking forward to closing the books on this year and seeing what next year holds. Ya'll have a great weekend and I will be back soon.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Good Morning
Nothing really to say this morning except "good morning". Hope everyone is having a good day today. Enjoying some warm temperatures enough so that I have walked to work (job 3) the past two days. Getting ready for a busy several days. It is hard to believe that Christmas Day is 10 days from now. Listening to the Christmas song, "If We Make it Through Dec.". I think I am going to suggest celebrating Christmas in the summer to my family. Something to help take a little of the stress out of it for everyone. Wonder if everyone would enjoy it more if there were not so much other stuff going on. It's a thought. Have a great day.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Just My Theory
It is just my own personal theory that all human beings are basically lazy, there are just some people that do more to overcome it than others. With that being said, I am about as sorry tonight as one person ought to be. I am not mind you what other people would consider a lazy person (I work harder to overcome it) but man, oh, man tonight it is a good thing that breathing comes natural! While working at job 3 today I made a to do list of what I wanted to get done and so far all I have done is look at it! Nothing is getting marked off like that! Even playing around with the idea of just getting up in the morning and starting on it. Even though I know that I have a client calling probably around 7:45 in the morning, but I will have about 3 hours tomorrow afternoon between job 3 and an appt. for job 1. I can get a ton of stuff done in 3 hours can't I? Sure I can, just talked myself into it. Have a great evening. Oh, and I find myself in that position of needing a free paid escort for a Christmas engagement next week that I just really can't avoid. Ethel told me I could borrow her husband if I needed to. Now that is a friend! LOL! Tootles
Saturday, December 10, 2011
How Is It Possible?
I will begin this post with a disclaimer: I am ok. I really am but just need to get some things off my heart. My Hospice bereavement counselor suggested many times that I should write things down and this blog is in some ways exactly what I am doing. I really and truly am ok.
Sometimes I marvel that the human psyche (definition; the soul personified) can possibly deal with multiple emotions at the same time. In the past couple of years I find myself at times feeling mad, sad, and glad all at the same time. I am sure that a great deal of what I am feeling now is intensified by the holidays. But the prevailing emotions seem to be sadness and confusion. Oh don't get me wrong I also still feel thankful, joyful, and optimistic but these have kinda taken a back seat. And I also know what the most prominent fuel for this feeling right now is. Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. If Bobby were still living it would have been our 22nd anniversary. And oh God, I miss him so bad. But, I also loved him enough to rejoice that he doesn't have to live his life in pain and suffering. My husband was a very energetic athletic man. I sometimes would tell him that it really was ok to sometimes just sit and do nothing because he was always doing something. To watch him over a 10 month period of time change from a big robust man to a shell of his old self who weighed less than I did. (I even had about a 2 week period that I thought I had buried him in my pants, but that is another story.). I believe with all my heart that he is in heaven free of pain, sorrow, and suffering so no I love him enough that I would not wish for him to be back. But, that doesn't make me miss him any less. I read something this week that another widow of 2 years had written and there was such truth in it. "For anyone grieving a significant loss and especially the loss of a spouse; the first year is a year of learning to adjust and physically survive. The second year is when profound feelings of sadness arise as the loss becomes more real." Ya'll have heard me say that in some ways the 2nd year was just as hard as the 1st just in a different way and I think that pretty well sums it up. I have no idea what the 3rd is going to be like. I only know that I miss my husband and I am lonely. It is a loneliness that has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of people around you. It is that loneliness of the heart. Of not having that person that knows your thoughts almost as well (and sometimes better) than you know yourself. Of not having that person who can finish your sentence, who even at your worst appearance still thinks you are the most beautiful thing in the world to them. Of not having that person that just senses that you need a hug and that with that person no words have to be said. Johnny Cash said, "There's no way around grief and loss; you can dodge it all you want, but sooner or later you just have to go into it, through it, and hopefully come out on the other side. The world you find there will never be the same as the world you left."
Thank you for letting me bend you ear. I really am ok, I am just still trying to adjust to or maybe even find this "new normal". And to be honest some days it just plain ole sucks. Don't know about ya'll but I think that is pretty healthy to admit that. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
Sometimes I marvel that the human psyche (definition; the soul personified) can possibly deal with multiple emotions at the same time. In the past couple of years I find myself at times feeling mad, sad, and glad all at the same time. I am sure that a great deal of what I am feeling now is intensified by the holidays. But the prevailing emotions seem to be sadness and confusion. Oh don't get me wrong I also still feel thankful, joyful, and optimistic but these have kinda taken a back seat. And I also know what the most prominent fuel for this feeling right now is. Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. If Bobby were still living it would have been our 22nd anniversary. And oh God, I miss him so bad. But, I also loved him enough to rejoice that he doesn't have to live his life in pain and suffering. My husband was a very energetic athletic man. I sometimes would tell him that it really was ok to sometimes just sit and do nothing because he was always doing something. To watch him over a 10 month period of time change from a big robust man to a shell of his old self who weighed less than I did. (I even had about a 2 week period that I thought I had buried him in my pants, but that is another story.). I believe with all my heart that he is in heaven free of pain, sorrow, and suffering so no I love him enough that I would not wish for him to be back. But, that doesn't make me miss him any less. I read something this week that another widow of 2 years had written and there was such truth in it. "For anyone grieving a significant loss and especially the loss of a spouse; the first year is a year of learning to adjust and physically survive. The second year is when profound feelings of sadness arise as the loss becomes more real." Ya'll have heard me say that in some ways the 2nd year was just as hard as the 1st just in a different way and I think that pretty well sums it up. I have no idea what the 3rd is going to be like. I only know that I miss my husband and I am lonely. It is a loneliness that has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of people around you. It is that loneliness of the heart. Of not having that person that knows your thoughts almost as well (and sometimes better) than you know yourself. Of not having that person who can finish your sentence, who even at your worst appearance still thinks you are the most beautiful thing in the world to them. Of not having that person that just senses that you need a hug and that with that person no words have to be said. Johnny Cash said, "There's no way around grief and loss; you can dodge it all you want, but sooner or later you just have to go into it, through it, and hopefully come out on the other side. The world you find there will never be the same as the world you left."
Thank you for letting me bend you ear. I really am ok, I am just still trying to adjust to or maybe even find this "new normal". And to be honest some days it just plain ole sucks. Don't know about ya'll but I think that is pretty healthy to admit that. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Quotes From Facebook Posts
Saw several quotes this week on different people's FB posts. Just wanted to share.
1. "I have learned you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved."
While that sounds kinda like a "duh, huh" kinda of comment when you stop and think about it there are people who feel so unlovable that they foster that attitude and make it difficult to love them.
2. "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
Boy is there ever truth in that! I said several times during Bobby's illness and after his death that you find strength that you didn't even know you had.
3. "Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen or talked to them. It is about that very moment when you find yourself doing something and wishing they were by your side."
4. "Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head."
This is so true. It gives the other party control over you.
And my favorite:
5: "At the end of the day all we have is who we are."
This pretty well sums up a conversation that Dumbass and I had this week. All that we go through helps shape us into the person that we are becoming. We can't change the past but we can learn from it and strive to be a better person. We might as well learn from it and learn to live with it because it will always be a part of who we are. What we do have control over is how much it controls us and do we become a better person for it, whatever it is. We are who we are and you can accept it or guess what guess what? You can march your happy a@@ on and never know what you missed. Wasn't it the Army that had the slogan, Be All That You Can Be. Have a great day.
1. "I have learned you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved."
While that sounds kinda like a "duh, huh" kinda of comment when you stop and think about it there are people who feel so unlovable that they foster that attitude and make it difficult to love them.
2. "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
Boy is there ever truth in that! I said several times during Bobby's illness and after his death that you find strength that you didn't even know you had.
3. "Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen or talked to them. It is about that very moment when you find yourself doing something and wishing they were by your side."
4. "Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head."
This is so true. It gives the other party control over you.
And my favorite:
5: "At the end of the day all we have is who we are."
This pretty well sums up a conversation that Dumbass and I had this week. All that we go through helps shape us into the person that we are becoming. We can't change the past but we can learn from it and strive to be a better person. We might as well learn from it and learn to live with it because it will always be a part of who we are. What we do have control over is how much it controls us and do we become a better person for it, whatever it is. We are who we are and you can accept it or guess what guess what? You can march your happy a@@ on and never know what you missed. Wasn't it the Army that had the slogan, Be All That You Can Be. Have a great day.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Life is Good
Today I am above ground and vertical so yes life is good. Today is a whole new day of promise. So let's see if we can't get the best out of it! Sometimes I have to remind my own self that life is all about choices. Dumbass and I had a conversation this week about this very thing. My feeling is that I can choose to live life or just exist and watch it pass by. And as I choose to live it then today is a new opportunity to see what I can learn (because you know that any day you learn something the day has not been wasted), who I can encourage, and what I can enjoy. Ya'll have an awesome day.
Friday, December 2, 2011
It is Not as Bad as it Sounds
Ok Anonymous (RK), it really is not as bad as it sounds. I will have you know that with my tree in the dining room you can actually see the tree from 3 windows, the front, back, and side, so it is even better than the living room. It was just one of those things that I miss doing with Bobby, I always did the decorating and he kept me company while I did it. Just feeling a little lonely but I am ok. I don't have to worry about the outside decorations the town does a real good job with that. But not to worry, I had a little talk with myself and I really am ok. But I really do appreciate your concern and I know you are there if I need you and that means more than you know. Hope you have a great day.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Time Marches On
Well children, another month is in the books. Hard to believe that in just a few short weeks it will be another year gone and a new one beginning. I have decided that I would make a good bear. I would looooooove to hibernate for the next couple of months. November and December just aren't on my list of favorites at the moment. Monday night I was thinking I should go ahead and decorate for Christmas (you know with that tree that I threatened to keep in the closet). I sat and looked around the living room, got up and fixed a cup of hot chocolate, went back to the recliner sat and looked around, sipped hot chocolate, sat and looked around and then just said to hell with it and went to bed. It was 6:45. In a better frame of mind did drag all that stuff out and it took me two days but I am pleased to say that the decorations are up. I did however put the tree in the dining room so I don't have to look at it so much. I am trying folks but the holiday spirit just ain't hit. I did tell my daughter that I might have enjoyed it more if alcohol had been involved. But, alas, it was the work day so I abstained. I should be ashamed of myself for sounding negative after 30 days of Thanksgiving and I do apologize. You would think that this being my 3rd Christmas alone that it might be a little easier and in some ways I guess it is. Time does march on and I promise to be in a more positive frame of mind. I warned ya'll at Halloween I was turning into a Scrooge. Bah humbug and all that. Thanks for listening.
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