I Stand Amazed

Sometimes my heart is just so heavy.  In the past couple of weeks, I have a friend who lost his brother, who was only 26, in an accident.  I have another friend who's mother was placed in Hospice care and died this week.  I have another friend whose sister is also dying of cancer.  As of this weekend Hospice has told them probably 1-2 weeks.  I don't know if you have any experience with Hospice (awesome folks) but they usually are pretty close.  This young lady is, short of a miracle, leaving behind a husband and three young children.  One of my best friends had surgery for a hernia, my neice had emergency surgery.  And I have a few other friends that have been facing some serious personal issues.  In every situation I have either been asked out right to pray for them or I promised the others that I would.  I stand amazed that not only do these people have confidence that I will pray but even more amazed that God hears and answers my prayers.  Not that I am the only one praying but yet when I see the outcomes and answered prayers I am humbled beyond measure. It is also humbling to be able to talk with some of these folks about prayer and even on occassion pray with them.  I truly do stand amazed in the Presence.  I have learned to pray God's will not my want. aThe friend with hernia surgery worked a 16 hour day the day after surgery.  The neice was back in class in four days.  Some of the problems that some friends are facing are working out better than anyone could have imagined.  The young lady who is dying has family that is at peace with what is happening.  The friend whose mother died has shared some moments of humor with me this morning.  The friend who lost his brother has spent the past week praising God.  I am again humbled at how much God loves us and cares for us.

IDK

As in I really don't know what I am going to write about, just feel like I need to.  I had a really good weekend.  Had a couple of ballgames on Sat. morning with only wind from Irene.  Even though gusty enough at times that I had to lean on the dugout post for support and I saw one ball hit that was headed straight away center field and ended up foul on the left field we still played ball.  As I mentioned earlier one of my ball players has taken upon himself to tell a friend of his about me.  Said friend was at the ball game and I admit at my age it was a little disconcerting (sp) to know that someone was there for the express purpose of checking me out.  Hope he wasn't offended when I stuck my hand out and introuduced myself and then proceeded to ignore him, but hell we had ball games going on.  I did have to tell my ball player friend who went around a couple of innings grinning like a mule eatin' briars that if I was just gonna have to smack him in the back of his head.  I had told him previously that if this old boy couldn't keep up then there was no need to come around cos my throttle is stuck on wide open and I ain't slowing down for him.  So, if he can't keep up he needs to keep going.  Man, I am getting sassier in my old age.  Oh, and was informed at a parks and rec meeting tonight that all the information they have for my ball team has me as the coach.  I really do love these boys.

After the ballgame, I went home and changed clothes and went to a grandson's birthday party.  Wow, when school starts next year all of my babies will be in school.  That should be good for noticing a creaky joint or two.  Had a good visit with my wife-in-law at the party.  Glad that not only did I have a good relationship with her when Bobby was alive but we have been able to maintain it.

Left the party and went to a horse show to visit with another friend and her kids.  And home by 7:00 p.m.  Ya'll tired yet?  Then had another friend (the one who talks to me while he is getting ready for a date) call at 4:00 a.m. to let me know that he had gotten home ok from a horse sale because he knows I worry about him when he is out like that.  By the same token, when he knows I am going to be out late, he calls to check to make sure I am ok.  Sad thing was I was awake.  It is that menopause insomina thing I have talked about.

Sunday, went to church, home to fix a sandwich, rest for a few minutes, then to a horse camp to put out flyers for new horse sale, then to the nursing home to see Mama, home to change clothes, walked, then spent the rest of the evening with three of my favorite men, Chris, Luke, and Josh, (Young, Bryan, and Turner) while I washed walls.  Don't ask me why, it was something to do, cos remember, I have decided I am not very good at doing nothing.

Observed from a couple of friends FB posts over the last several days, that not only is love blind, sometimes it is deaf, dumb, and stupid.  Have a great night/day depending on when you read this.  I have rambled enough for now.

Dear Santa

Ok I must confess that often times at Christmas when people are talking about Santa I am reminded of a quote from my father who was heard to say from time to time, "I really would rather not see that fat s@@ of a b@@@@ this year".  You can well imagine why I remember that quote is because I really would rather not see that fat s@@ of a b@@@@ this year.  With that being said here is my letter to Santa.
Dear Santa,
I am sure that I probably have not been nearly as good as I need to be this year but if you could see your way clear I really need a GPS.
Sincerely,
Connie

Now normally I ask for things like Diet Pepsi, Chocolate Covered Cherries, you know the essentials. 

Let me share with you that I am not terribly directional challenged even though I don't know east from west unless I see the sun rise or set.  I can not figure out how the same road can be going 109 south and 74 east.  Ok???  Make up your damn mind which direction am I going in, south or east?  However, I generally have no problem finding my way around UNLESS I am trying to get back home.  Just don't make no kind of sense!!  I will print directions to a new destination with Bing maps or Mapquest and don't have any problem getting to where I am going.  But I usually forget to print them in reverse and as a result  have taken the scenic route home many times.  Well let me tell you it only took about 1/2 dozen of these scenic routes home and I finally remembered to print out the reverse.

Last night I went to a town I had never traveled to and I got my directions printed out both to and from so I am feeling really good about this trip.  UNTIL!, I am about a 1/3 of the way to my destination and the road that I am supposed to stay on bears off to the right and I have it in my sights but guess what.  Across the road are barricades!  The flippin road is CLOSED due to a bridge being out!  Are there detours signs any where?  NOOOOOOOO.  Now I am in a very rural part of NC getting ready to cross into an even more rural part of SC where not only is there no detour signs, there is also no cell service.  When I finally got cell service I sent Janelle a text that said "just call me Moses" because I am wandering around in the wilderness.  Was I lost?  No, I just didn't know where I was at.  However, being blessed with a little bit of common sense I rationalize when I get to a stop sign that "ok, I was supposed to bear right, so it makes sense to me that I should turn right" and guess what I was right.  I eventually got back where I was supposed to be without the help of NCDOT (no detour signs) and it only took me about 20 minutes longer than it should have.  Made it to my destination just fine and made it home (without reverse directions cos remember the bridge is out) even finer.

Dear Santa,
I would rather have a tatoo for Christmas but  I really need a GPS.

Weekend in Review

Monday once again rears its' ugly head.  The weekend really didn't slow down a whole lot compared to the previous week.  But gleanings from the past few days.  Get the most out of each day you don't know when it will be your last.  I have come to the conclusion that even though breathing there are many people who really aren't living.  A young friend lost his older (26 years old) in an ATV accident on Sat. night.  A niece had to have emergency surgery on Fri. night.  Things went very well and she is doing great.  Another friend came over on Sun. evening to talk for a while because they suspect her mother has Alzhiemer's and she is having trouble dealing with it.  We have dealt with it so long that I don't remember if there were times that I had trouble dealing with it or not.  (should I be concerned about that?) 

Was reminded by the friend who needed to talk how special my relationship is with Janelle.  I guess I have never realized that there are people who for lack of a better word are envious of our relationship.  To be honest I have never really thought about it.  We just are what we are, which even though mother and daughter, we are two women who accept each other as is and love each other unconditionally.  How awesome is that!!!

Well, must stop now I am sure there is work that I can find to do.

From Being a Bag Lady to Sleeping on a Park Bench

Nope, I am not homeless.  Referring to my comment from a couple of weeks ago about becoming a bag lady (bags under the eyes, bags over the knees).  Yesterday finished up the Dixie World Series.  I had to be there at 8:00 a.m. for parking detail because there was to be a game at 10 and one at 11.  The winner of the 11:00 game also had to play at 7 last night.  Sooo.  Finished working around 12:30 and didn't have to be back until 5:00.  Considering that it was about a 65 mile round trip for me to go home and come back I decided against that.  What to do with myself for about 4 hours.  Hmmmmmm.  Had my golf clubs in the car and thought about finding a driving range.  Shouldn't be too difficult since I was near Pinehurst.  Then in talking with one of the other folks who was being paid to work I mentioned that if I could find a park or something I would go hike for a while.  She shared with me about a park within a few minutes of the ball field that had a two mile trail around a lake.  Now we're talking!  So I leave and go to a local Bar-B-Que joint for lunch then take off for this park.  I had a book with me so I thought I would walk a little (didn't do the two miles) then find me a  picnic table or something and just read for a while.  So I walked  (not nearly enough) then found a bench in a nice shady place overlooking the lake.  Now it has been a looong week.  Since Sat. night I have seen 2:00 in the morning 3 mornings.  Told someone when I left the house yesterday morning that I met myself comeing in.  (not complaining, I love it)  Ah, but I digress.  I sat and read for about 5 minutes and guess what happened.  Yep, I was going to sleep.  So I just put my book on the end of the bench and laid down on said bench and took a little nap.  Not so sound asleep that I couldn't hear what was going on around me but a light sleep none the less.  Slept for about 40 minutes and got revived for the next shift.  So you see I have gone from being a bag lady to sleeping on a park bench.

It has been a good week.  I worked all 4 jobs and volunteered for about 12-15 hours.  Had to tease the parks and rec director who was in charge of the tournament that volunteer was French for "free help".  Met some really neat people and got to hang with some of my big brothers of whom a couple of them have a gentleman that they are trying to fix me up with.  The instigator of this I am now threatening to bat 13th.  But that is another story. 

World Series Update

At times not really sure that I am not OCD or ADD but right now am suffering from TIRED.  Ball tournament has been great.  In three days I have not seen one single game, too busy working.  But it is all good.  I am in need of an a$$ tramsplant because I have worked mine off!!!  Getting to see some of my big brothers who are also working tournament who I am extremely flattered that they introduce me to other people as, "this is Connie, she is the coach of our sr. softball team".  Actually had three of them introduce me that way even after I had threaten one of them with being moved to 12th in the batting order.  Gotta love the game and those guys.  Going to bed.  Long 4 days ahead.

My Staycation

Tomorrow I will be beginning my mini staycation.  If you haven't caught on I like baseball/softball.  The Dixie Youth World Series (the southeastern equivilant of Little League) will begin this weekend in a town about 35 miles from me.  Since two of my "big brothers" are on the Parks and Rec board for Moore County I had asked if they needed volunteers for the Series and of course they did.  I have been looking forward to this for months!!!  Maybe the only World Series I ever get to.  Although, it is a dream of mine to go to the Little League World Series, the College World Series, and a MLB World Series.  So tomorrow I begin the tournament with a break on Monday for "consulting" work and a horse sale.  The tournament goes through Thurs. so I will work mornings and then baseball in the afternoon and evening.  How sweet is this 6 days of baseball and a horse sale.  Ah, but like everything else time will pass quickly and it will soon be a memory.  But dang if I ain't gonna enjoy it while it is here.

Someone asked me a while back what I did for fun.  My answer:  "I don't DO anything for fun, I just try to have fun with everything I do.  With that being said, had a ball at Janelle and Kenneth's on Sun. evening at what is becoming tradition after their vacation, an oyster roast.  Steamed oysters, so nasty I was only able to eat about 2 dozen.  Enjoyed being with them and their friends and as always very thankful to them that they include me in stuff like this.

Oh, and found out this week how much I am worth.  I will save that story for another post.  That is my teaser to get you to come back. 

Connie's Top Ten For the Week

Here are my observations and conclusions from this week.

1.  I hate a bleeping weedeater!!  I only use the blooming thing about once a month and it is fairly new but in getting ready to use it on Sat. I flooded the flipping thing and nearly pulled my arm out of the socket trying to crank it.  I finally said the heck with it and put the foul thing up.  They should make them with a key and a switch!!!

2.  With the same passion that I hate, abhor, detest, despise (you get the idea) a weedeater, I love a horse sale.  I must be the missing link but I just love the atmosphere.

3.  Hot flashes are much more likely to occur (even when you are inside) when the outside temps are 90+ than they are when they are below 50 degrees.

4.  I am not real good at doing nothing.

5.  Some days I just have too much time on my hands.

6.  The grieving process is a marathon and not a sprint.

7.  I love people!  I just don't always like all of them, but I am sure there are many who feel the same way as far as I am concerned.

8.  The number of people you surround yourself with really has no bearing on how lonely you feel (see # 6).

9.  Some days my shoulders just don't seem broad enough but then a still small voice speaks to me and says, "they don't have to be".

10.  Little children are not the only ones who should sing the song, "He's Still Working On Me".

GRAVITY WILL ALWAYS WIN!

Told the "Golden Girls" on my weekly visit this morning that I am on my way to becoming a bag lady.  After a couple of concerned looks and what's wrongs I just had to start laughing.  I shared with them this morning that I have bags under my eyes and bags above my knees.  After that I quit looking cos I didn't want to see what else is sagging and bagging.  Rest assured in spite of the best we can do gravity will always win!

Friends

Had a Facebook post this week about what are friends and what do they mean to you.  My reply was a conversation that I had with an 8 year old niece.  "As you get older there are two things that will come to mean more to you than anything in the world, that is family that stands behind you no matter what, and friends who are willing to do the same.  Friends are family by a different set of parents."

My friends are something that I count as one of my dearest blessings.  Someone said that if you have 5 true friends then you are blessed beyond measure but if you get in trouble you would probably be able to only count on two of them.  Wow!!  As I sit here I can think of close to a dozen that if push came to shove that I could depend on.  That makes me a blessed person indeed.

I could name names but at the risk of leaving someone out, I won't.  What is so awesome to me is that several of them are friends that I have made through my daughter and my son-in-law.  I still am fairly bemused that these folks who are young enough to be my children like to interact with me.  But there are a few of them that I know if I called on them would be there.  Then there is my BFF who we don't have to talk every day I know she has my back and I have hers.  Think Lucy and Ethel meets Thelma and Louise! 

And as I have mentioned before most of my close friends are men.  I am not sure what that says about me or them but it is what it is.  One in particular is a gentleman that I can talk to about anything at any time.    When you know that you just accept each other "as is" it goes a loooong way toward making a friendship even dearer.  Even when I call him a dumbass and tell him that I want to smack him in the back of his head and he is talking to me as he is getting ready for a date I know that deep down this is a true friend.

I am tremendously blessed by the friends that I have.  As stated before, I am above ground, vertical and have not been pronounced.  Have worked at 4 different jobs this week (I am now looking for the 5th).  Life is good, stressful, but good.  Wish everyone else could say the same.