However, if you had been there in person it would not be a chuckle, it was a deep from the pit of your stomach, tears streaming down your cheeks, belly laugh!
The winter after Bobby died some of my family started planning a family cruise. I have never been on a cruise and it was a great opportunity as a good percentage of the fan damily were attending. I waffled back and forth about did I want to go, did I not want to go. Keep in mind at this point I am still existing on sugar cookies and brownies. (my sisters say my grocery lists consists of 2 boxes of brownie mix and diet drinks, sometimes I fool them and buy 3) Anyway, I digress, (remember you don't get the Reader's Digest version here). I did finally at Christmas time decide not to go. To be honest I was still in such a funk that it was really hard for me to imagine having fun ever again especially by July.
As cruise time approached I began to help my youngest sister get ready for her cruise. One of the tasks was to get a base tan by going to the tanning bed. We bought one of those 20 visit packages and split it. Now I have never been to a tanning bed before. Let me pause here and say that I tan very easily and usually have 25 different tan lines because pretty much all I have to do is just go outside and I start tanning. Sister in question tans fairly easy but she did not want to spend the cruise burnt to the color of a beet. Also, one reason that I never went to a tanning bed is that I have said it reminded me too much of a coffin. I am just a tad claustrophobic.
So, now we have bought our 20 visit package and we arrange what time to meet at the tanning salon. The big question so far has been how much are we going to wear or take off. We get checked in and I tell the little boy working, "now, I have never done this before so you have to tell me what to do". I even asked what do most people wear (I told you it was country come to town) He tells me that most people either bring a bathing suit or just keep their underwear on and alot of people take all their clothes off. Oh, I have just made an executive decision! He tells us which bed we are going to be in and I tell him AGAIN!, "I have never done this before so you have to tell me what to do". Both times that I told him this his answer was "oh, you just lay down and press start". At this point we go to our respective rooms and I proceed to take every stitch of clothes that I have on off. Yep, not gonna be any tan lines here. I lay down and get comfortable or as comfortable as you can laying on a flat piece of glass. I find the start button and press start. The lamps come on and it gets cozy warm and I am thinking, "this is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be". Now since this was our first visit we only tanned for 5 minutes. So the little buzzer goes off and I get up, put my clothes on and I am feeling real proud of myself. I step outside and am waiting for my sister to come out which she did in just a couple of minutes. She asked me "how was it?". and I answered with, "not as bad as I thought". She then tells me she had to keep lifting the lid off of her boobs. I stopped right in my tracks and, kid you not, I was serious, I looked at her and said, "you were supposed to close the lid?" You can imagine her look of dismay when she asked me, "you didn't close the lid?" Nope sure didn't, he told me to lay down and press start, so I laid down and pressed start. We are walking out and she is dying laughing and muttering to herself, "I can't believe you didn't close the lid." Nope, he said lay down and press start. I follow instruction very well, I laid down and pressed start.
Now as Paul Harvey would say here is the rest of the story. After a couple of days of walking around scratching our asses (remember we took all our clothes off that visit, didn't make that mistake again either) we went back for visit #2. Same little boy working and I walk up and asked him if the beds have a broil setting. He looks at me kinda funny and Sister dearest says, "she didn't close the lid" He looked at me like I had two heads and one of them was spinning. He then asked, "you didn't close the lid"? I looked at him just as straight as I knew how (cos I am still laughing about it) and told him it was his fault because "you told me all I had to do was lay down and press start, you did not say one John Brown thing about closing the lid." He then whipper snapper that he is tells me he thought EVERYBODY knew to close the lid. I had to remind him that I TOLD him I didn't know what I was doing so I did exactly like he told me to do. I did tell him, "child the next time somebody tells you they have never done this before what do I do to be sure and include that step about closing the lid."
We finished our 20 visit package over the next few weeks and each time he was working with laughter he would remind me to shut the lid.
All for a good cause, she had fun and did not get burned to a crisp on the cruise. And, I got to add a new experience to my lists of firsts. Have a great evening/day depending on where you are and what time it is when you read this. Appreciate you visiting with me.
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